It's about time.

It's about time I create new associations. It's easy to throw out certain things that are associated with certain memories, but we still need this house so I guess it's staying. And I can't blow up Bigoli or Conspiracy either.
It's about time I close this book and make new memories. It's about time I stop figuring out where things went wrong. It's about time that I wont let anyone pull me down whenever I take a step forward. It's about time I accept the fact that some things are not meant to be, and more importantly, that better things are to come.
It's about time I get up and move out from the comfort of this grief.

Gawd, coz this is getting old.

Blanko.

Palayo na ng palayo ang pangalan mo sa who's viewed me page ko. Palabo na rin ng palabo ang alaala ng mukha mo o ng kulot mong buhok sa isip ko. Minsan nalilimutan ko na ang lalim ng iyong boses, o ang pakiramdam ng magising sa hudyat ng missed call mo. Nawawalan na ng kahulugan ang awitin mo para sakin, at nagiging isang nakakairita at nkaka-LSS na overplayed na kanta na lamang. Minsan, nangungulila parin ako para sa isang taong mapagsusumbungan o makukwentuhan; isang taong laging naryan at inaako ang buhay ko bilang buhay na rin nila. Pero alam kong ayoko ng balikan ang natapos na.

So, anong problema ko? Natatakot lang ako. Kahit mahirap, posible rin palang makalimot. Gigising rin pala ako na tila panaginip lang ang lahat. Darating din pala ang araw na tila estranghero ka na lamang. At kapag tuluyan ka ng mabura sa buhay ko at magtapos na ang yugtong ito, ano na? Tila isang blankong papel na lang ang buhay ko na nakatitig sa akin; nayayamot at naiinip para akin itong punan. Nakakalula.

Rain

Ah, rain. What better element of dramatics could there be. My editor once laughed to my face when I tried to add poetry to my script by saying "the sky felt for them." But you know sometimes I'd like to believe that it does feels for me. Just like that fateful night it poured in sync with my weeping.

Fantasy Girl

Run fantasy girl,
far from his make believe world.
Run fast
to a place
where there is pain,
where there is love,
and yes, some mediocrity, too.
Run fantasy girl
for you deserve a name
and you belong
to somebody else's reality.

Bright Side

Almost a month's worth of wallowing over that empty space for someone's toothbrush, or missing the feel of his... hair (wahaha), I choose to look at the brighter side this time.

I get to sleep early without waiting for anyone to get back from work. I am not forced to watch sports videos and shows anymore. I can do whatever I want to do without considering if he'd be into it. I can binge on CHICK FLICKS!!! I can make scrambled eggs and not sweat over one perfect sunny side up. Each space is MY space. I can dress up without anyone telling me that I make them look under-dressed. I can stay inside all day watching dvds without anyone bothering me to get up and... move. I don't get nagged for not filling the water containers, not locking the doors or not fixing my closet. I get a lot of me time, now, as Chachie's 13 year-old cousin, Diego would put it. That's good, right?

Reviving this blog

Ok, I haven't been paying attention to this blog. Mainly because I don't have much of readers. or lurkers don't take time to comment.

But come to think of it, this would be a good outlet for the less popular writings that I want to spare the people back in multiply. such as my rantings.

First thing. I need a life.

I need to spend more time going out, meeting new people, and less time cooped up in this office/house tinkering with stuff online.

Since after Valentine's day, I have a bunch of time in my hands-- the time I used to spend in a bubble with he-who-shall-not-be-named. And thanks to all who tried to cheer me up. I am so much better now. Not really heart-broken anymore, more of lost... or bored.

I tried learning how to use the manual mode of my camera- something I've put off for a while now. Well I got better at it. Then I got bored. I cleaned my room and my closet and washed all our curtains. I created a new multiply account and moved a bunch of blogs and photos. I also tried fangirling (which I realized I suck at). But I need to do more of the things girls my age should be doing (like be in serious and healthy relationships?).