Talking in riddles: Of perfection and grace

Perfection.

I've always wanted to be perfect. That is a terrible confession I now publicly make. I don't want to make mistakes, especially in things that I can't bear a heartbreak about. That is why I've been running most of my life. Running from risks. Running from love.
Religion came along as a perfect guise. You see, I thought there is a way to avoid risks; a road to perfection without having to risk getting hurt along the way. I thought I can be safe forever.

Am I doubting my Shield and my Sun? Far from it.

But last night, I witnessed something significant. A picture of perfection in my mind crumbled. Admittedly, at first, I wanted to curse anything that led me to believe that perfection is possible. I wanted to curl up and hide deeper into my shell thinking that I'm darned for life for holding out for something that is not going to happen.
I didn't even want to look closer. I thought it might damage me for good if I come to see the ruins of what once was my idea of perfection. But I was wrong. I saw something even more beautiful.

I saw grace.
In the midst of imperfection, I saw the beauty of grace.

Word Of God Speak

by MercyMe


I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

Tomorrow

Tomorrow's a new day
ain't that a comfort?

Tomorrow God's mercy will be fresh again.

Tomorrow I will move in to a new house. To a new neighborhood. After almost 8 years in Diliman.

Tomorrow I will not go home to Pampanga as I usually do when my parents were there.


Tomorrow I shall face another challenge--

Get up. Face the day head on. Live the vision. Make a difference. Give glory to my Maker.

Tomorrow I will ask a fresh outpouring of His grace and Spirit, for that is the only way I could face all the morrows thereafter.

This is not to say I don't tremble nor fear nor think of retreating.

But tomorrow, God said He'd be there.

Sleeping Heart

My heart is asleep.

This is what I recently discovered while lying on my bed one sleepless night. I tried tapping on it a couple of times and I finally concluded. Goodness, it IS asleep. I was not really surprised, just quite in awe. You see, the slumber is very much welcome--convenient for me to work on my character, my ministry and all my plans.

Apol and I were talking during one of those weekly sleep overs we have and I mentioned, "I finally appreciate the dealings." (Because yes, at a point I did struggle, and the recent dealings, well it's a long story). "Why?" she asked. "Well, in times of... err... insanity (with no better word to use), it's good that there's just virtually NO ONE to think about, and to wallow about, and to wonder (as in "Siya na ba?" kind of wonder) about. So I snap out of it easily. And that just makes me feel so free. Lol

My heart is asleep. It is not restless, it does not yearn. It beats for no one but my Lord.

Until that time comes maybe, until that time comes.

Passage Song of Solomon 2:7:

7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Ang Dali nang Maging Writer Nowadays

Ang dali nang maging writer sa mga panahong ito.

Naalala ko pa, grade five ako noong unang beses akong lumikha ng isang tula. Tinuruan ako ng isang kaklase kung paano. Noon din ako unang umibig sa pagsusulat. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Napakadali lang palang magsulat. Kumuha ka lang ng papel at bolpen at isipin ang crush mo, makakasulat ka na." At sa mga panahong iyon ng aking malayang pagkatha ay isinilang ang walang-kamatayan kong pangarap na maging isang writer.

Di lumaon ay nag highschool na ako. Sabi nila, kung gusto kong maging manunulat, kailangan ay mag exam ako para maging bahagi ng school paper. Pinangunahan ako ng takot. Napakaraming pangamba ang pumasok sa isipan ko. "Paano kung hindi nila magustuhan ang sinulat ko?" "Paano kung hindi pala ako isang writer tulad ng inakala ko?" Sa loob ng dalawang taon ay tinitigan ko lamang ang diyaryong 'yon. Minsan iniisip-isip, pinapanga-pangarap na makita rin ang pangalan ko sa Literary Corner. Pero ni minsan ay hindi ako naglakas ng loob na sumubok; na magbaka-sakali. Sa mga panahong iyon, doon ko lamang naisip; ang hirap palang maging writer.

Sa ikatlong taon ko sa highschool, naging editor ng Pampangan (ang school paper namin) ang isa sa mga malalapit ko na kaibigan. Nakapasok ako sa staff ng walang exam-exam; nailimbag ang pangalan ko nang hindi ko man lang inakala. Minsan ay madali lang din pala maging writer. Kahit sa puso ko'y nagdududa parin ako sa kakayahan ko, at least, naging writer ako kahit gawa lamang nepotismo.

Sa paglalaro pa ng tadhana, napasali pa ako sa isang paligsahan. Nakakatawang isipin na saling-pusa lang naman talaga ako sa paligsahang cluster-level na 'yon. Kailangan kasi nila ng mangunguna sa opening prayer sa program kaya ako nagkunwaring isa sa mga kalahok sa feature writing contest. Mantakin mo at nasali pa ako sa provincial level matapos noon! At kung hindi nga naman nakakagulat ang mga pangyayari, ako pa ang napiling ipadala para maging representative ng Pampanga. Ikinadismaya naman ng titser ko ang pagkapanalo ko. Kung sabagay, ano nga naman ang ilalaban ng isang saling-ket na literary writer sa regional feature writing contest? Tulad ng inakala ng lahat, natalo ako.

Oo na, hindi pala ganoon kadaling maging writer.

Lalo na noong nagtangka akong mag shift sa creative writing sa UP. Bakit hindi pa kasi yun ang naging 1st choice ko sa UPCAT eh. Kinailangan ko pa tuloy kumbinsihin ang pamilya ko na ipag-shift ako. Sabi ng kapatid ko, "You have to be really really good to make it in writing, Ging." Parang sinabi na rin nyang wala akong mapapala sa kakayahan kong magsulat. Kung hindi pa naman mas nakakatuya ay ni-reject ako ng department.

Tunay na napakahirap ngang maging writer.

Matapos ng isang kurso na napakalayo sa pagsususlat,isa at kalahating taon na pagtuturo at sampung buwan sa call center, ako ngayon ay isang writer na. Research writer nga lang kaya medyo nasasakal rin sa creativity. Isipin mo, isang tawag lang, isang interview, at isang review sa aking blog ay naging writer ako sa isang kisap mata. Aba, ang dali na palang maging writer sa mga panahong ito.

Kaya naisip ko lang, sa paglago ng E-commerce at kung ano-ano pang Internet churva 'jan, napakadali nang maging writer. Nakita ko nga sa bestjobs.ph nung isang araw na in-demand ang tinatawag na "keyword writers." Hindi gaanong importante kung ano ang isusulat nila, basta mabanggit lamang nila ang certain keywords na kailangan ng cliente. Ewan, ko di ko ma-gets. Parang connected yata sa search engine optimization. Andaming writers ang kailangan ngayon para magsulat ng website content at kung ano-ano pang paid information (tulad ng sinusulat ko, hehe). Ang dali na ring ibenta ang pangalan mo bilang manunulat (dahil hindi ka acknowledged) para sa mala call-center na sweldo. Madali ring kumita ng 90-150 pesos per 300 words, as a matter of fact.

Naku, napakadali na palang matawag na isang writer sa mga panahong ito, ano?
Ito nga ba ang pangarap ko?

*******
BTW, sabi ni yoyo ang pangit ko daw magsulat sa tagalog. Masagwa ba talaga?

No Rain on My Parade

Egay was my major birthday guest yesterday. Amazingly, I barely had to use my umbrella (much less my pink raincoat...yeah, not again) despite the typhoon. I heard that the flood in Buendia was waist-deep. Some people got drenched in the rain on the way to work and some got stuck in traffic. And I... I was walking on sunshine. Literally.


Marveling at the special favor of walking on dry ground on a stormy day, the Lord reminded me of the phrase "In the Eye of the Storm." You see, eagles are unlike other birds who scramble for shelter when rain pours. Eagles rise above the rains, ride the winds, find the eye of the storm, and soar unaffected there. Similarly, an eagle Christian in God's will experiences storms, yet soars above life's turmoil, riding the winds of the Spirit.

Haha, egay's presence was surely felt, but she hardly affected my day.

++++++++

I penned my wishlist a few entries back, now here's my birthday gratitude list :)

Thank You Lord for the 25 years.




1. Thanks for the eureka Bible! I've been eyeing this for the past 3 months. (It was my cellmates' gift... and it came with a cake!)



... 2. Thanks for taking me a step closer to my dream career this year.

3. Thank you for your Presence.


4. Thank you for the 10 lbs I lost (and the 10 more lbs I would lose? puhlease?).


5. Thanks for the new friends I got to meet this year :)







6. Thank you for making me a part of Jill's d cell.






... 7. Thanks for the answered prayers from my last Christmas list like: my ipod, the Sagada trip ... and all the other material blessings.

8. Thank you for all the revelations during my devotions.

9. Thanks for keeping my family safe and healthy this year.

10. Thank you for granting ma and dad their US visa.



11. Thanks for the delight my nephew and nieces brought to us.








... 12. Thank you for old high school friends who never forget.


13. Thank you for blogs.


14. Thank you for reviving me during the time when I felt like giving up.


15. Thank you for giving me another chance.


16. Thanks for the laughter and tears I shared with dear friends Apol, Cha, and cellmates.



... 17. Thanks for the intelligently written series LOST and all the other series that kept me company during my bum season.


18. Thanks for the supernatural growth of my cellmates and of myself this year. I wouldn't trade all that we had to go through this season. :)


19. Thank you for everyting I learned ang gained in Convergys. Thanks for the great people I met, the discipline and work ethics i learned; for the self-confidence I gained.



20. Thank you for the friends i met in my short stay in OCSI- Marichel, Sei and Marge.



21. Thank you for the leaders you are raising from among us; thanks for the G-12 vision.





22. Thanks for the buckets of ice blended white chocolate dream, frapuccino and caramel macchiato.




23. Thank you for bringing me to Destiny and for growing me here; for great pastors like ate Zha and kuya Carlo. I just so know I'm in the right place at the right time.




24. Thank you for the cross; For giving your only begotten Son, Jesus, to demonstrate your love for me and to show me how serious you are in bringing me to my destiny.

25. Thank you for all that you have in store for me. Truly, no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has ever conceived what you have prepared for those who love you.

I know there's gotta be more than 25 things I should thank you for.There is. My list would go on and on though, so here are my top 25. Thanks so much Daddy God. :)

Of Birthday Eves and My Good Friend Lina

My first ever e-greeting came from my good friend Lina and her dabarkads on the left. I was touched. Not only is Lina concerned with my career and employment (obvious with her daily job alerts), she also remembered my birthday and gave me a really prettyemail.

*******

Meg's Birthday
Date: August 15
Closures: Banks, Government, Business Offices, and some Retails in Portugal, Gabon, French Guina, and many other countries (really! check their calendars ;))
Description: A splendid day to give thanks to the Lord Almighty for such a wonderful, gorgeous, and brilliant creation such as Meg.
Background: Meg was born on this day some 18 years ago (wahahaha)
How Celebrated: I remember a picture when I turned two. I wore a white dress with red polka dots while blowing my cake. I think I was four when ma baked me a crema de fruita. All the other years were a blur. Never had another party until I turned 18 when all my guests got wasted. I had a party last year but wouldn't have one this year due to financial constraints. The day would instead be spent in the office working and in a cell meeting ni the evening.

Too bad not everyone could get the humor behind this format. Cheers WTP ;)

You can still call me grace (a repost from a 2005 blog)

Walking along Yakal's first-floor corridor on my way to my dorm room, I heard a faintly familiar voice behind me. She was calling some name that didn't quite register to my ears, at least not after around fifteen seconds of her foot in her mouth. "Mary grace...?" she cautiously called/asked. Dead air. Then it hits me. I turned around and I saw an old classmate from way back grade school-- foot out of her mouth already, with a wide grin on her face.

Cut me some slack. I needed the time to absorb the idea of the two disjointed eras of my life encountering each other .

I've always been Grace, well, Mary Grace to this particular old friend. Ironically, I've never fully known grace, then. As a matter of fact, I hated my name. I hated how common it was. No, it wasn't really the name I guess, I just hated the fact that I was common; that i looked ordinary; that I did average; that i performed so-so. It was my pre-teen to adolescent struggle-- to be somebody; to stand out; to be... ugh... pathetic, I know... special. That, plus a name that would turn hundreds of heads in a crowded room.

And thus the master plan. Stepping to college-dom, I, my good friend Yo, and my roommate decided to change my name. Nothing legal. They just gave me a semi-common nickname. Yes that's how you came about calling me Meg. I guess, I thought then, that getting a new name changes everything about me.

Really, it didn't. I went about feeling the same way.

Regardless of the failed plan, the name stuck. Convenient 'twas, anyway, to give way to the Graces who wished to hold on to their names.

I remember my Mom used to say, "Grasya ka talaga!" (You're really "grace") whenever I get my aguinaldo, gifts, special favor or any unexpected provision in times of hopelesness. I never quite understood what she meant. Not until now.

I've been experiencing grace... no, let me rephrase that, I've been seeing grace with a new perspective lately.

Ain't it amazing? How things work out, though you're the least deserving? How you don't get fired from life when you don't even deserve the job at the first place? How your life is not even enough to pay-off all what you owe, yet you are still showered with gifts? How this One called Love, gives you hope anew? How you stand on Someone else's righteousness? I would recount all the ways, only, I know I would fail. My proud heart has probably overlooked far too much of this beautiful gift I receive each day.

Boy, do I feel special now.

I am Meg to most now. I learned that "Meg" means "a pearl". True enough, He has made sense of all the dirt and mire, and miraculously produced something beautiful with it.

But you can still call me Grace.

Yesternight

Not a usual evening, last night was.

Birthday Cake and Birthday Coffee

It was Chuchu's birthday the other day, so we had a quick celebratory coffee break before I headed back to QC last night. I got off from work early, picked up birthday girl from Robinson's Summit, and we salivated our way to CBTL (the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf), Paseo center. I tell you, I've been having too much second rate coffee (re: Starbucks) lately that I've missed the real taste of coffee so much.

We just had an hour but we had one of the best conversations. It was all about remembering: our spiritual childhood, intense intercession moments of the past, unforgettable tastes of glory; We also spoke of burning desires: for the heart of the Lord, for depth, for intimacy. Momentarily, all the coffee table smalltalk was eaten up by the fire in our hearts.

This is friendship. :)

***BTW, we got one of those free circuit magazines in CBTL and guess whose face we saw?
Manong Dan's!

Shoutout to Dan: Sikat ka na talaga manong! Chachie grabbed a copy for you :)

D Cell Meeting

I missed our cell meetings; It's been a while since we last met as a cell. It was a powerful revelation from Momsy doo. It was about Abraham and Eliezer. Before Isaac ever came to being, Abraham was so ready to resign to the fact that his servant Eliezer would be his heir. But God still had something up His sleeves. All He asked of Abraham is to resist fear and to believe.

It was so fresh. It gave me the faith to go another mile. :)

Kidnapped!

Yes, after D cell meeting, I was kidnapped. By three huge (wahaha ) guys. Old friends Shawn, Chan, and Toots ambushed me and took me to some hole in the wall place in Katipunan. Only to see their surprise... tadaaan! Secret daw. hehe

They're good friends... some from way back kindergarten to highschool. Being there though, hearing their sentiments regarding broken relationships, (attempts to mend one of those actually) all the more settled questions in me.

The question of the 10 and the 2? Hahaha.

Of Scattered Thoughts and a Sad Bottomline

I was YMing with an ex-officemate, MeanMay, and she asked, "No, really...what are your thoughts about it?" (referring to a rather shocking occurence in this place where we met). I answered, "My thoughts...My thoughts are everywhere."

I really don't know what to think... I also find it quite hard to decipher what I feel, as a matter of fact. Not only about that "rather shocking occurence" but about stuff i'm being dealt with right now. Honestly, from the pit of my stomach and the depths of my heart, I solidly, wholeheartedly believe there is no reason to be down or depressed or low or even anxious about. After all, I just so know that God minds every detail of my life. But I did find myself in tears as I lay my head on my pillow last night.

I guess it's just the physical exhaustion over the weekend, the emotional roller coaster for the past few days, my Lord's personal dealings to my heart that He just finds so precious...and the loneliness perhaps?

I don't even feel worried, as I my heart so trusts His word that He works for the good of those who love Him (rom 8:28). I don't feel angry, for bottomline, there's no one(or no use) to blame. I don't feel hopeless for I find countless of reasons to wake-up each day and move toward my destiny.

I guess I'm just... sad.

Can I be sad, Lord?

Such an Ally Mcbeal moment

Such an Ally Mcbeal moment, last night was. Walking along the deserted road of Rufino, with one cold hand tucked in my coat pocket and the other hand holding up the umbrella that shielded me from the gentle drops of rain; with Norah Jones singing in the background (from my ipod at least), the thought crossed my mind. It was such an Ally Mcbeal moment. Only there is nothing to be tormented about. There is no reason to be bitter or dejected. My God is too good.

Skip to December 7, 2005-- For Jackie :)

This was posted on my blog-city blog last December 2005. It just reminded me of my dinner conversation with Jackie the other night...


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Giving in to the most romantic invitation of coming away, I was surprised at the first stop over-- inside of me. "Why would i want to journey here Lord?" I seek adventure, I seek depth and height all at the same time. But inside of me?

I've been catching my breath for the past couple of weeks. I have often been overcome with the feeling of bursting-- a need to stop to cater to my inability to contain-- uncontainable passion at times, uncontanable sorrow as well.

I have never felt as awakened in my life as I am now. Not even as the day I met the Lord. No, I don't remember ever having the ability to dream and to soar as I do now. I feel so alive; so in-love with life.

Every morning, my 1-year-old nephew would come into my room and wake me up with his excitement and vigor. At times I would resist, but who wouldn't give in to the spirit of a child ready to take in a brand new day? I would often wonder why I have never seen him sluggishly linger on his bed or cover his face with a blanket when each daylight kisses him good morning. But then again, a little bit more than 365 days here on earth has not yet given him enough trouble for him to refuse it.

The vigor of the newness of life.

For quite a while there I chose to be numb. So as not to feel the pain perhaps? Unfortuntely shunning Life as well. But like a frozen heart beginning to thaw, I begin to feel. I begin to feel alive, ready to chase after my dreams.

I also begin to feel the pain.

One night, the Lord just spoke to me with surprising words-- "Admit the pain." All my speeding dreams came to a halt. Do I have to? isn't forgetting a part of the forgiving? COmplying to the insistent Voice, I gave way to the flood of emotions and like a cheated child, I wept.

"Now forgive."

You can't forgive someone for an offense you yourself deny. I thought I was too righteous to take offense: Too mature to be affected. But I still live in fallen world and in a fallen self.

And you can't truly live until you truly die.

I am really doing a lot of dying inside. Don't you feel like dying when somebody pokes at your wounds back when you were a child? Forgetting all the good meaning of the process, you just cry as if saying, "Why are you killing me with this pain?"

But you can never run again, until you heal. You can never feel the wind on your face or chase after butterflies and rainbows if you choose to hide the wounds.

But I want to live.

And so I welcome it all... just to feel life once again.

Magnanimous blog

Muli nanaman kaming nagkita. Napakatagal nang panahon ang nakalipas mula noong huli ko siyang nasilayan. Akala ko ay namalikmata lang ako pero siya nga. siya nga si magnanimous crush.

Let me start with the beginning of my Saturday: my devotions. My devotions was about Jesus walking on water. I was wondering why Jesus had to walk past his discpiles, on water take note, when He could have simply calmed the storm for them. And then I realized-- Jesus was showing them what can be done. Jesus was changing the ways of His disciples by showing them that instead of fretting, they can actually walk on water. Instead of worrying about one's circumstances, one can actually rise above the torrents. Unfortunately, only Peter dared to follow suit.

That day I got to reflect on my ways. The things I settle on because I dare not follow suit after my Lord. That morning, I prayed for eyes that would see what is possible in Christ and the heart that would dare follow after my Lord.

Kinagabihan ay nakita ko sa TV si magnanimous crush. Ni-interview siya ni Donita Rose sa channel 33.

Next to John lloyd, he is my most artistahin crush (considering the fact that John lloyd is an artista). I remember my colleagues and I were enamored almost instantly by his good looks. He was tall, dark, lean and ruggedly handsome. There was a whiff of mystery in the intensity of his eyes and such charm in his quick wit and intelligent remarks.

I remember I even wrote a blog entry about him.

There was another side to his good looks and charm, I discovered. While watching him converse with Donita, I was in utter disbelief as I listened to him talk of his faith and his total turn-around for the Lord; I was awestruck by the depth of his insight regarding vision and love. One of his analogies I could not forget is about relationships: two people being intimate, whether physical or emotional, is like two different colored pieces of paper being glued to each other-- like red and white, he cites. When the relationship ends, the pieces of paper break off from each other leaving marks of the red paper on the white and vice versa. Sadly, the breaking off may even leave large holes. Profound, eh?

I am not saying that Jesus is showing him to me now because he is the one; God forbid that his wonderful marriage with his equally good looking wife would end. But in the midst of all the voices telling me to settle, God shows me that He still make men of this kind--- men of vision, of faith, of surrender... and of good looks! wahaha

Posted: Feb 12, 2005: Post-Victory Highs (and lows)

I've always thought of myself as non-adventurous. I've always found refuge in things... reliable. Why choose something new over something tested, I always say.

I think my housmates are about to throw up already with the perpetual sight of tofu in our ref. It's my current default food since the on-set of my domesticated phase (I suddenly felt like cooking my own food and washing my own clothes).

One of my student's mom was surprised to see me yesterday wearing girly stilettos. She must've thought I wear my favorite sneakers to sleep. Well, I'm really not boring, if that's how it sounds. If it doesn't involve too much risk like a slightly modified hairdo or a new ingredient to my tofu- like oyster sauce for Monday, Egg and Flour for Tuesday and (I know Luanne is dying to hear this) Toge (beansprouts) on Wednesday.

Okay, okay. I know its more than just being 'non-adventurous'. And don't worry God is shaking me out of my cowardice. Just yesterday, the Lord asked me to go out from my ususal day to face one of my Giants. One that I've been running from for months now. (Thanks Mommy Jill and Kim for your prayers!). True enough, God gave me victory. I just can't remember the last time I had the same high. The high of defeating something that would naturally crush me, only God was on my side.

The other day, during a party in a co-teacher's place, I heard a couple who excitedly told stories about their recent conquests (crusades). Unexpectedly, tears stung my eyes so bad I thought I'd embarrass myself. Tears of envy maybe... and of longing for my own adventures I guess. At times like these I realize I'm made for something else more than a predictable life. When all the fears are momentarily brushed away, deep within my heart I see the love for adventure there. I am made for this. Of all the titles I've acquired as a Christian, (i.e. 'daughter', 'servant', 'light' and all that), I dispised 'warrior' the most. It just didn't fit my preference for unruffled, undisturbed pseudo-peaceful life. But that didn't change the fact though. I am one.

One thing I recenlty learned-- though I choose to close my eyes to the war around me, it doesn't go away. As a matter of fact, a soldier with eyes closed is a soldier just the same. Only more likely to get hit-- Not as a civillian casualty but as a foolish target who doesn't use her armor and ammunition. That leaves me with no choice I guess.

Maiba ako. It's the 12th already. The clock ticks til the 17th. Would the elephants realize the chains are loose? (haha, those who have ears let them hear). This elephant is having a hard time playing the field, hehe.


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SOme things could really change in the span of two years huh? ;)

flashback: Of Lovers in Paris and Finding the Right One

Posted January 23 2005

My roommate is currently obsessed with the craze of the town. It's not that I'm not into 'lovers' myself, I did force my eyes open when I heard Kitchie Nadal singing through my roomie's computer sound blasters that fateful Saturday (early) morning. It was Lovers in Paris volume 16, 17 and the final episode 20. Forced to analyze the whole thing every few minutes, in sync with my roommate's sporadic thoughts of the Koreanovela ending, I realized one thing. Vivian and Carlo were wondering--if things wouldn't have happened as they did, would they still have met? The ending answered their question. The scene showed Vivian, on her first day in Paris having dinner by herself, with Carlo just right behind her. Unfortunately, they were totally oblivous of each other.

If watching Lovers in Paris is also one of your guilty pleasures, you would realize that they've actually became conscious of each other's exsitence way after Vivian arrived in Paris. Their "story," though, actually started way earlier than they thought it did, during those fleeting brushes with destiny that only heavenly beings witnessed. Who knows, they might've even shopped in the same grocery store in Korea or something.

Well it kindov reminded me of my own "story." A couple of years ago, I posted my testimony in peyups.com about my whirlwind romance with, who else, my wonderful JC. Now I realized, it wasn't as "sudden" as my cold turkey quitting of my old life. The first time I actually heard of Jesus and prayed THE prayer was when I was eight years old. Even before that, I couldn't even fathom how many "brushes" with destiny I have had already. That was how long the actual pursuit was,before I was shaken to my senses and realized Love was right there under my nose.

Now I wonder...

A few hours ago, while talking to my co-teacher, Nate (who was a college batchmate), another co-teacher made a joke about me getting married (take note: it was a joke .) Suddenly, Nate brightened up, being so glad for me and all, and said "oh yeah? me too!" (Refering to her recent engagement with the love of her life).Kinda embarassing to explain that it was jsut a joke, really.

I can't believe that the idea of me in a wedding dress is nothing but a source of comic relief for me when its actual reality for someone of the same age. Yeah, yeah, I know God has his IEPs (Individualized Education Plan)for all of us. I was just wondering if, once again, I am making the pursuit so long, delaying the happy ever after, when 'the one' might just be under my nose... with me being so stubborn to mature (and be ready for God's will) AGAIN.

Far be it I hope. Far be it.

Moving In

I'm moving in to blogspot.

Blog-city was courteous enough to inform me that by the end of the year, they would be charging me for keeping my blog-city account.

Either that or I move out.

In short, I'm being evicted. And for the next few postings you would notice that I would be moving my archives from there to here little by little.

Let us reminisce then of all the sense or nosense that I made on my previous articles, haha. Let's enjoy a little nostalgia in the air, as I do not have much time to write new posting anyway since I am busy writing work-stuff hehe

Enjoy!