I have a lovesick dad.
You must understand how overwhelming that realization is for me. My relationship with my dad is the closest to non-existence among all my meaningful ones. Although I must admit that it has the greates impact in my life.
Lately, i find myself being attracted to guys with the same qualities as my dad. Not surprising. I actually had one whole class teaching us about love, relationshps and marriage (cool major,huh?) and studies show that it has been a trend for women to be attracted with guys that resemble their fathers in one way or another.
Maybe that explains my taste for tall, dark and bumbayin guys. A lot of people say my dad looks like he stepped out from the 70's action movies. Pang goons ba ang dating. Maybe that's why pretty boys don't appeal to me that much.
Maybe that's why I prefer mystery over extroversion; pure testosterone over being in touch with the feminine side; logic over emotions; being tough and complicated and unexpressive... disclaimer: not that i haven't fallen for any smooth talker's trap.
Still a surprise for me, though. You see, I remeber i got to the point of vowing that I'd never marry anyone like my dad. Obviously, I had my grudges against my dad along with all my teenage angst. I'm not dismissing it as anything juvenile, though. They were valid issues and hurts-- though I would rather not recount now.
I was in awe... or should i say, i was mortified then, how my mom could take him all these years; I was plainly disgusted with how patient and sincere she was, serving my dad and being his good housewife even during drunken nights or on days that my dad would walk in and out of our house like a passive breeze.
Suddenly it struck me. While ordering my big breakfast at mcdo, it just struck me.
I just realized that there must be something that my mom sees that we don't see. A part of who dad is that only my mom sees from her side of the bed, during their conversations in the dark (not that i'm evesdropping); something... something about my dad that makes her embrace everythng he is.
Overwheming.
And just the same day of my enlightmenment at Mcdonald's, I received news from my sister that Dad just took his early retirement.
You see, my mom just left for the states a couple of months ago. It appears that my Dad just couldn't contain her absence, thus the premature retirement to be able to follow after her soon.
The picture of a lovesick dad has never crossed my mind this past 23 years. I guess I've always seen him from my side of the fence as the tough, objective, unemotional guy.
I have a lovesick dad. Haha, I just can't get over it.
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