Struck with curiosity as to how many people actually had "lonely Christmas" as their blog topic, I googled these key words: blog+lonely+Christmas. Guess how many hits I got? 2,710,000 results.
That probably gives you a clue on what I am about to blog, huh?
Well Christmas was really not THAT lonely. Jet and I did enjoy our almost-tradition roadtrip-- to Baguio this time (the last time was Banawe-Sagada). But it is lonely for a few reasons:
1. Lola died of stroke the eve of Christmas :(
2. It's my first Christmas without my parents home
3. Having spent time with Atsi, Kuya Marvs and the kids last month, I missed them terribly after they left. Especially the chinky-eyed tandem of Faith-faith and Bebe!
4. Spending Christmas day on a funeral service
5. Working late in the office alone the day after Christmas
6. Being alone in my apartment for the next couple of weeks
(You do notice that I deliberately did not include being single on this list right?)
According to survey, suicide rates spike during Christmas season. I suppose it's the isolation people feel when everyone else seems to be happy and having fun. Come to think of it, with all th lonely people in the world, including the 2 million lonely bloggers, nobody really has to be that lonely since a lot of people share the same predicament. I'm sure there'd be somebody there to have a Merry Christmas with, if only we look at who is there beside us instead of wallowing on who is not.
Have a Merry Christmas lonely bloggers!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Christmas Wish for Next Year
Well Guess what's on the top of my next year's Christmas list?
If you have the urge to give me a post-Christmas gift for 2007, I would gladly welcome it!!!
Those photos were taken by, who else, Manong Dan during the LB Church outing early this month. I fell in ♥love♥ with Julie's D40x! With Manong Dan's very useful tips, taking puctures was not frustrating at all.☺
Monday, December 3, 2007
It's Time
It's time... nutmeg.blog-city.com will say goodbye in 27 days. It has been a good 2 years blogging with it...blogging free that is. Well, now blog-city would like to take the space back.
Following are reposts of blogs that I was able to salvage before all drifts away. Enjoy!
Following are reposts of blogs that I was able to salvage before all drifts away. Enjoy!
May 2007
For the months of April and May, our project focuses on researching and producing articles regarding superstitious beliefs of different countries. So far I have written about Mexico, South Korea, Laos, Thailand, Lithuania, Romania, Switzerland, Taiwan, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Iceland, Canada... I'm not sure if I left out any... I think that's it so far... and I'm currently working on Burkina Faso and Lesotho.
One interesting thing about this current project is that I get to meet gods of different cultures and beliefs. I have read about those as famous as Gautama Bhudda and Confucius (although not claiming as gods, they are followed nonetheless) to lesser known deities as the gods of the sun and the trees and the rocks and any imaginable thing haha (animism could be very funny, I tell you). I have ventured a bit on Islam, Hunduism, cults and witchcraft and a weird combinations of all the aforementioned beliefs. But no god has ever come close to my Lord Jesus Christ.
I learned that there are gods who sleep or leave for a vacation and during their absence, the people panic in fear (certain gods that "protect" people from evil in oriental countries like China and Korea leave at the end of the year for a year-end meeting to report to a greater god). The people in turn make up ways to scare off the evils by their own might. None was ever like the Lord who watches me when I sleep; like Him who walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death or He who knows the number of the hairs on my head. They were not like my God who is my Sun and My Shield; the Warrior who strengthens my hand for battle or trains my fingers for war.
Some have strict philosophies that promise enlightenment by voiding oneself from all forms of desires. Not one was like my Lord who promises the desires of my heart, only I delight in Him. That's a win-win sitch-- He says DELIGHT in Him, not suffer in Him. It means you have fun delighting in Him PLUS you get the desires of your heart... just like an icing on a cake.
Karma resembles a word of my Lord that says one reaps what one sows. But no Hindu god is able to erase my broken past and make me just like new again. No blood of sacred animals can ever turn what is as red as scarlet to something whiter than snow itself.
Some may impose strict rules of do's and don'ts but no god has given his very spirit inside his people that they may be able to be righteous. No god has given his people hearts of flesh and no spirit has written his law in the hearts of men unlike the precious Holy Spirit.
Some may heal, like the Sufis of Islam or the Shamans of many cultures (as Siberia and Korea), but none was stricken 39 times so that by his wounds I (or we) may be healed. Medical studies show that all forms of illnesses root to 39 origins. That means ALL disease have been accounted for by the stripes on our Christ's back.
Some people may not worship certain beings and objects but surely they have placed their trust, and unfortunately their fear, in these. People have feared vampires and witches; voodoo and evil eyes. Not a single deity have I encountered that promised his perfect love to drive out our fear unlike my God.
There are objects that gained the trust of men. There are totem spirits identified by poles and masks that promise fertility and prosperity. Ironically, every tribe in Burkina Faso has a totem animal and practice mask-dances to ensure fertility in their land yet Burkina Faso is considered as one of the most poverty-stricken countries in the world.
Native Americans put their trust on dreamcatchers to filter their dreams but never have they encountered the Dream Giver Himself.
There is a particular god in the tribes of Africa that is said to have abandoned human kind because he got hurt by a woman who was punding millet with her mortar. My Lord promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that nothing could ever separate me from His love.
There are gods who are to be appeased all the time so as to assure their favor; these gods must be pleased continuously else their wrath would come as a curse to the people's lives. Not a single one of these gods has given his only begotten son as a sacrfice so that once and for all, all sins and curses of the past, of the present and even of the future will be ultimately paid for. Not one god was like my Lord who became a man and was led like a sheep to be slaughtered so as I, and any one who puts their trust in Him, will be redeemed. I am yet to see a deity who, instead of remaining unreachable and and unapproachable paid a dear price just to be with me. Just to be with us.
None is like my God. There is no one like Him.
One interesting thing about this current project is that I get to meet gods of different cultures and beliefs. I have read about those as famous as Gautama Bhudda and Confucius (although not claiming as gods, they are followed nonetheless) to lesser known deities as the gods of the sun and the trees and the rocks and any imaginable thing haha (animism could be very funny, I tell you). I have ventured a bit on Islam, Hunduism, cults and witchcraft and a weird combinations of all the aforementioned beliefs. But no god has ever come close to my Lord Jesus Christ.
I learned that there are gods who sleep or leave for a vacation and during their absence, the people panic in fear (certain gods that "protect" people from evil in oriental countries like China and Korea leave at the end of the year for a year-end meeting to report to a greater god). The people in turn make up ways to scare off the evils by their own might. None was ever like the Lord who watches me when I sleep; like Him who walks with me through the valley of the shadow of death or He who knows the number of the hairs on my head. They were not like my God who is my Sun and My Shield; the Warrior who strengthens my hand for battle or trains my fingers for war.
Some have strict philosophies that promise enlightenment by voiding oneself from all forms of desires. Not one was like my Lord who promises the desires of my heart, only I delight in Him. That's a win-win sitch-- He says DELIGHT in Him, not suffer in Him. It means you have fun delighting in Him PLUS you get the desires of your heart... just like an icing on a cake.
Karma resembles a word of my Lord that says one reaps what one sows. But no Hindu god is able to erase my broken past and make me just like new again. No blood of sacred animals can ever turn what is as red as scarlet to something whiter than snow itself.
Some may impose strict rules of do's and don'ts but no god has given his very spirit inside his people that they may be able to be righteous. No god has given his people hearts of flesh and no spirit has written his law in the hearts of men unlike the precious Holy Spirit.
Some may heal, like the Sufis of Islam or the Shamans of many cultures (as Siberia and Korea), but none was stricken 39 times so that by his wounds I (or we) may be healed. Medical studies show that all forms of illnesses root to 39 origins. That means ALL disease have been accounted for by the stripes on our Christ's back.
Some people may not worship certain beings and objects but surely they have placed their trust, and unfortunately their fear, in these. People have feared vampires and witches; voodoo and evil eyes. Not a single deity have I encountered that promised his perfect love to drive out our fear unlike my God.
There are objects that gained the trust of men. There are totem spirits identified by poles and masks that promise fertility and prosperity. Ironically, every tribe in Burkina Faso has a totem animal and practice mask-dances to ensure fertility in their land yet Burkina Faso is considered as one of the most poverty-stricken countries in the world.
Native Americans put their trust on dreamcatchers to filter their dreams but never have they encountered the Dream Giver Himself.
There is a particular god in the tribes of Africa that is said to have abandoned human kind because he got hurt by a woman who was punding millet with her mortar. My Lord promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that nothing could ever separate me from His love.
There are gods who are to be appeased all the time so as to assure their favor; these gods must be pleased continuously else their wrath would come as a curse to the people's lives. Not a single one of these gods has given his only begotten son as a sacrfice so that once and for all, all sins and curses of the past, of the present and even of the future will be ultimately paid for. Not one god was like my Lord who became a man and was led like a sheep to be slaughtered so as I, and any one who puts their trust in Him, will be redeemed. I am yet to see a deity who, instead of remaining unreachable and and unapproachable paid a dear price just to be with me. Just to be with us.
None is like my God. There is no one like Him.
Jan 2007
My life is on a pause.
Honestly, I have feared that I would go on spending my precious life just getting by. I have feared that I would keep on thinking that the best is yet to come and go on doing trivial things and wake up one day and realize Im halfway my life and haven't accomplished anything of worth. I have feared that I will use up all my resources-- my health, my ability to dream, my precious time, trying to get by until I have none left for anything else. I have feared of spending my life trying to make a living but not to have lived at all.
And so I pause. I re-assess.
A brave move, some say. Too brave, I sometime think, that I am tempted to hide in the mediocrity of life again.
But honestly?
I want to live.
I want to enjoy the brilliance of the colors surrounding me. I want to throw my head back in laughter. I want to do things that make me feel alive. I want to write. I want paint everyone's faces. I want to love people; To marvel on how special, and funny, and queer each one is (And see how much they've grown and bloomed since that first cell meeting :) ) I want to stare at the sky and feel so tiny for a while. I want to pamper myself to feel pretty and nice. I want to start a project-- decorate a home, tend a garden, cook a meal. I want to converse with people over coffee about seemingly profound nonsense. I want to ravish God's word as if there's no tomorrow. I want to tell the world about things I love-- my latest CBTL swirl card (how much did CBTL pay me to put such a good word about it, jaki asks), daddy freddy's crinkles and asado rolls, the series LOST (well at least the latest-- after dr house, prison break and grey's), Southern chicken of Mocha blends, my Creator and the latest amazing things He has done for me.
But I realized it is a choice. To live is a choice. To live is not easy.
Sometimes you have to choose one thing over another to be able to live. To choose a good night's sleep over a sumptuous pay; A beautiful sunrise over more sleep; An actual waistline over another glass of coke. To choose to toil in order to reap.
It's a choice to make time. It's a choice to restrain from something to make room for another.
It's also the choice to take the risk.
The risk of failing in your new project. The risk of things not turning out the way you expected them to. The risk of getting rejected. The risk of getting hurt.
And I want to choose to live. Really I do.
It aint gonna be easy I know. But I'm sure it's worth it.
...I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest. John 10:10
Honestly, I have feared that I would go on spending my precious life just getting by. I have feared that I would keep on thinking that the best is yet to come and go on doing trivial things and wake up one day and realize Im halfway my life and haven't accomplished anything of worth. I have feared that I will use up all my resources-- my health, my ability to dream, my precious time, trying to get by until I have none left for anything else. I have feared of spending my life trying to make a living but not to have lived at all.
And so I pause. I re-assess.
A brave move, some say. Too brave, I sometime think, that I am tempted to hide in the mediocrity of life again.
But honestly?
I want to live.
I want to enjoy the brilliance of the colors surrounding me. I want to throw my head back in laughter. I want to do things that make me feel alive. I want to write. I want paint everyone's faces. I want to love people; To marvel on how special, and funny, and queer each one is (And see how much they've grown and bloomed since that first cell meeting :) ) I want to stare at the sky and feel so tiny for a while. I want to pamper myself to feel pretty and nice. I want to start a project-- decorate a home, tend a garden, cook a meal. I want to converse with people over coffee about seemingly profound nonsense. I want to ravish God's word as if there's no tomorrow. I want to tell the world about things I love-- my latest CBTL swirl card (how much did CBTL pay me to put such a good word about it, jaki asks), daddy freddy's crinkles and asado rolls, the series LOST (well at least the latest-- after dr house, prison break and grey's), Southern chicken of Mocha blends, my Creator and the latest amazing things He has done for me.
But I realized it is a choice. To live is a choice. To live is not easy.
Sometimes you have to choose one thing over another to be able to live. To choose a good night's sleep over a sumptuous pay; A beautiful sunrise over more sleep; An actual waistline over another glass of coke. To choose to toil in order to reap.
It's a choice to make time. It's a choice to restrain from something to make room for another.
It's also the choice to take the risk.
The risk of failing in your new project. The risk of things not turning out the way you expected them to. The risk of getting rejected. The risk of getting hurt.
And I want to choose to live. Really I do.
It aint gonna be easy I know. But I'm sure it's worth it.
...I have come that they may have life and have it to the fullest. John 10:10
mahal kita
Maha kita, kaya ko ito isinusulat ngayon.
Ikaw, oo, ikaw. Ikaw na matagal ko ng friendster. Ikaw na ilang beses ko nang nakasabay mag lunch, o napaggastusan ng ilang piso sa text. Ikaw na kakilala ko na ng ilang taon na. Ke nakita mo na ako lumaki (literally) o ngayon-ngayon mo plang naka palagayan ng loob, mahal kita. Para sa yo 'to.
Napaisip lang ako ng malalim lately. Marami akong gustong sabihin at dapat sabihin, pero bakit kababawan lang at kung ano-ano lang ang nasasambit ko? Bakit naghihintay pa ako ng bukas? Bakit umaasta ako na parang wala akong magagawa, wala akong mabibigay wala akong masasabi at wala akong maitutulong.
Pero meron.
Matagal ko nang dapat sinabi at gustong sabihin. Mahal kita. at Mahal ka Niya.
Matagal ko nang gustong sabihin na ang natanggap ko ay hindi lang para sa akin, kundi para sa 'yo rin.
Noong mga araw na manghang-mangha ka sa nangyari sa akin (oh nung inis na inis ka bakit masaya na ako bigla); bakit di na 'ko galit sa lalaki at sa sang kamunduhan; bakit 'di na ko bitter; bakit gusto ko nang mabuhay, inisip mo na natsambahan ko siguro, pero ikaw... 'di na siguro tatablan. 'Di yun totoo pero tumahimik lang ako.
O sa 'yo, na 'di mo nalaman ang nakaraan ko at inakala mo lang na isa akong banal na tao dahil wala-- ako ito at ikaw yan, nagkakamali ka, pero hindi ako umimik.
Pero ito ang totoo. Natanggap ko lamang ito, binago lang ako, nakaranas lang din ng awa. Ngayon gusto kong malaman mo... para sa 'yo rin ito. Walang hindi tinatablan, walang sobrang dense para kay Lord.
Naks naman, KJ na kung KJ, corny na kung corny, pero alam ko sa loob loob mo hinahanap mo rin 'to. Hinahanap mo ang kapatawaran, hinahanap mo ang pagbabago, hinahanap mo ang pagtanggap, hinahanap mo ang tunay na pagmamahal, hinahanap mo ang totoong dahilan ng buhay na ito. Kaya nga naparito si Hesus at namatay sa krus. Kaya nga na Siya, na walang bahid ng kasalanan ay nagparaya ng ang LAHAT ay mabuhay. I mean LIFE pare. I can't explain e, how alive you could feel once You let Him take over your life. Pero man, I felt like it's the first time I've actually lived when I did. Lahat, dude. As in LAHAT. Counted ka dun.
Di naman madali. Sinasabi ko na ngayon pa lang. Exciting. Pero indi madali. Kaya nga naman narrow road eh. Pero if you let His waves of grace take you, san ka pa, lalo kang maiinlab. Di mo alam pano mo kinakaya ang mga Goliath pero tumba sila sa harap mo.
Atsaka andito naman ako, eh. Andito naman kami. Maraming tutulong; maraming sasaklolo.
Ibigay mo lang ang buhay mo sa Kanya, dude. Solb solb ka na.
Mahal kita.
Hirap narin akong makita na ganyan ka. Nalulungkot, natutuliro, di malaman ang kinabukasan, frustrated, walang pag-asa.
Ano, game ka?
Ikaw, oo, ikaw. Ikaw na matagal ko ng friendster. Ikaw na ilang beses ko nang nakasabay mag lunch, o napaggastusan ng ilang piso sa text. Ikaw na kakilala ko na ng ilang taon na. Ke nakita mo na ako lumaki (literally) o ngayon-ngayon mo plang naka palagayan ng loob, mahal kita. Para sa yo 'to.
Napaisip lang ako ng malalim lately. Marami akong gustong sabihin at dapat sabihin, pero bakit kababawan lang at kung ano-ano lang ang nasasambit ko? Bakit naghihintay pa ako ng bukas? Bakit umaasta ako na parang wala akong magagawa, wala akong mabibigay wala akong masasabi at wala akong maitutulong.
Pero meron.
Matagal ko nang dapat sinabi at gustong sabihin. Mahal kita. at Mahal ka Niya.
Matagal ko nang gustong sabihin na ang natanggap ko ay hindi lang para sa akin, kundi para sa 'yo rin.
Noong mga araw na manghang-mangha ka sa nangyari sa akin (oh nung inis na inis ka bakit masaya na ako bigla); bakit di na 'ko galit sa lalaki at sa sang kamunduhan; bakit 'di na ko bitter; bakit gusto ko nang mabuhay, inisip mo na natsambahan ko siguro, pero ikaw... 'di na siguro tatablan. 'Di yun totoo pero tumahimik lang ako.
O sa 'yo, na 'di mo nalaman ang nakaraan ko at inakala mo lang na isa akong banal na tao dahil wala-- ako ito at ikaw yan, nagkakamali ka, pero hindi ako umimik.
Pero ito ang totoo. Natanggap ko lamang ito, binago lang ako, nakaranas lang din ng awa. Ngayon gusto kong malaman mo... para sa 'yo rin ito. Walang hindi tinatablan, walang sobrang dense para kay Lord.
Naks naman, KJ na kung KJ, corny na kung corny, pero alam ko sa loob loob mo hinahanap mo rin 'to. Hinahanap mo ang kapatawaran, hinahanap mo ang pagbabago, hinahanap mo ang pagtanggap, hinahanap mo ang tunay na pagmamahal, hinahanap mo ang totoong dahilan ng buhay na ito. Kaya nga naparito si Hesus at namatay sa krus. Kaya nga na Siya, na walang bahid ng kasalanan ay nagparaya ng ang LAHAT ay mabuhay. I mean LIFE pare. I can't explain e, how alive you could feel once You let Him take over your life. Pero man, I felt like it's the first time I've actually lived when I did. Lahat, dude. As in LAHAT. Counted ka dun.
Di naman madali. Sinasabi ko na ngayon pa lang. Exciting. Pero indi madali. Kaya nga naman narrow road eh. Pero if you let His waves of grace take you, san ka pa, lalo kang maiinlab. Di mo alam pano mo kinakaya ang mga Goliath pero tumba sila sa harap mo.
Atsaka andito naman ako, eh. Andito naman kami. Maraming tutulong; maraming sasaklolo.
Ibigay mo lang ang buhay mo sa Kanya, dude. Solb solb ka na.
Mahal kita.
Hirap narin akong makita na ganyan ka. Nalulungkot, natutuliro, di malaman ang kinabukasan, frustrated, walang pag-asa.
Ano, game ka?
Lovesick Dad (April 2006)
I have a lovesick dad.
You must understand how overwhelming that realization is for me. My relationship with my dad is the closest to non-existence among all my meaningful ones. Although I must admit that it has the greates impact in my life.
Lately, i find myself being attracted to guys with the same qualities as my dad. Not surprising. I actually had one whole class teaching us about love, relationshps and marriage (cool major,huh?) and studies show that it has been a trend for women to be attracted with guys that resemble their fathers in one way or another.
Maybe that explains my taste for tall, dark and bumbayin guys. A lot of people say my dad looks like he stepped out from the 70's action movies. Pang goons ba ang dating. Maybe that's why pretty boys don't appeal to me that much.
Maybe that's why I prefer mystery over extroversion; pure testosterone over being in touch with the feminine side; logic over emotions; being tough and complicated and unexpressive... disclaimer: not that i haven't fallen for any smooth talker's trap.
Still a surprise for me, though. You see, I remeber i got to the point of vowing that I'd never marry anyone like my dad. Obviously, I had my grudges against my dad along with all my teenage angst. I'm not dismissing it as anything juvenile, though. They were valid issues and hurts-- though I would rather not recount now.
I was in awe... or should i say, i was mortified then, how my mom could take him all these years; I was plainly disgusted with how patient and sincere she was, serving my dad and being his good housewife even during drunken nights or on days that my dad would walk in and out of our house like a passive breeze.
Suddenly it struck me. While ordering my big breakfast at mcdo, it just struck me.
I just realized that there must be something that my mom sees that we don't see. A part of who dad is that only my mom sees from her side of the bed, during their conversations in the dark (not that i'm evesdropping); something... something about my dad that makes her embrace everythng he is.
Overwheming.
And just the same day of my enlightmenment at Mcdonald's, I received news from my sister that Dad just took his early retirement.
You see, my mom just left for the states a couple of months ago. It appears that my Dad just couldn't contain her absence, thus the premature retirement to be able to follow after her soon.
The picture of a lovesick dad has never crossed my mind this past 23 years. I guess I've always seen him from my side of the fence as the tough, objective, unemotional guy.
I have a lovesick dad. Haha, I just can't get over it.
You must understand how overwhelming that realization is for me. My relationship with my dad is the closest to non-existence among all my meaningful ones. Although I must admit that it has the greates impact in my life.
Lately, i find myself being attracted to guys with the same qualities as my dad. Not surprising. I actually had one whole class teaching us about love, relationshps and marriage (cool major,huh?) and studies show that it has been a trend for women to be attracted with guys that resemble their fathers in one way or another.
Maybe that explains my taste for tall, dark and bumbayin guys. A lot of people say my dad looks like he stepped out from the 70's action movies. Pang goons ba ang dating. Maybe that's why pretty boys don't appeal to me that much.
Maybe that's why I prefer mystery over extroversion; pure testosterone over being in touch with the feminine side; logic over emotions; being tough and complicated and unexpressive... disclaimer: not that i haven't fallen for any smooth talker's trap.
Still a surprise for me, though. You see, I remeber i got to the point of vowing that I'd never marry anyone like my dad. Obviously, I had my grudges against my dad along with all my teenage angst. I'm not dismissing it as anything juvenile, though. They were valid issues and hurts-- though I would rather not recount now.
I was in awe... or should i say, i was mortified then, how my mom could take him all these years; I was plainly disgusted with how patient and sincere she was, serving my dad and being his good housewife even during drunken nights or on days that my dad would walk in and out of our house like a passive breeze.
Suddenly it struck me. While ordering my big breakfast at mcdo, it just struck me.
I just realized that there must be something that my mom sees that we don't see. A part of who dad is that only my mom sees from her side of the bed, during their conversations in the dark (not that i'm evesdropping); something... something about my dad that makes her embrace everythng he is.
Overwheming.
And just the same day of my enlightmenment at Mcdonald's, I received news from my sister that Dad just took his early retirement.
You see, my mom just left for the states a couple of months ago. It appears that my Dad just couldn't contain her absence, thus the premature retirement to be able to follow after her soon.
The picture of a lovesick dad has never crossed my mind this past 23 years. I guess I've always seen him from my side of the fence as the tough, objective, unemotional guy.
I have a lovesick dad. Haha, I just can't get over it.
Mahirap magaamhal ng isang call girl (April 2006)
Mahirap magmahal ng call girl. Yan ang bago kong discovery.
Sa mga di nakakaalam, isa akong call (center) girl at mag aapat na buwan pa lang naman sa industriya. Maraming nagtatanong, why the sudden change?-- kung sabagay, dati akong isang guro, at ang bokasyong pagtuturo ay isang napaka marangal na bokasyon. That must mean I'm the idealistic type, not the kind that go after the material perks of this supposedly shallow vocation. Well, this is not all about justifying this move. Marami'y di maintindihan. Sabi pa nga nila, if you're underpaid as a teacher, Eh di mag abroad ka! Tutal, atat na rin naman ang kalahati ng pamilya ko na sumunod na ako 'dun. Well, as I've said, not a lot would understand the rationale behind it. And it's not the point.
Ang ibig ko lang namang sabihin ay... mahirap magmahal ng call girl. Not necessarily in a romantic way, I should add. Katulad ngayon, at ang nakalipas na mga gabi ako'y mapag-isa dito sa apartment dahil ang mga kasambahay ko ay nagbabaksayon sa iba't-ibang bahagi ng Pilipinas. Well, bahagi ng pinirmahan kong kontrata ang pagttrabaho sa holidays kaya 'di ako maka imik. Gusto man akong samahan ng iba kong kaibigan, may obligasyon 'din sila sa kanilang pamilya. 'Di bale, ang sabi ko, 'di rin naman kami nagkikita talaga eh. Pag gising sila, tulog naman ako. Ang good morning ko ay good night na sa kanila. Pero malungkot parin the past days, man.
Nataon pa na off ko kanina. Lonely mornings I could sleep off. Lonely nights-- when going out alone AND on a holy week is not an option, kakaloka. I just rented a bunch of movies, gobbled a couple of bags of chips and chucked gallons of coke and semi-wallowed. Feels good really, until I reached to a realization that I can't do this everytime I'm alone.
On my last off I was lucky to have somebody sleep over sa bahay sa Pamp. We watched a buncha movies too, til 6am. And my dad caught us eating ice cream in the kitchen... TWICE!!! Good for her though, she lasted. The other night, 'di ako kinaya ng mga kaibigan kong naglakas loob mag ayang mag movie marathon. Tinulugan ako.
Mga work mates ko? Umaga nag-iinuman. Well. 'Di ko naman problema yun, anyway. Tagal nako 'di umiinom kaya di na problema i schedule.
Man. My schedule and body clock's all screwed up. Ang hirap humanap ng human interaction, from the normal world, that is.
Ang hirap magmahal ng call girl noh?
Sa mga di nakakaalam, isa akong call (center) girl at mag aapat na buwan pa lang naman sa industriya. Maraming nagtatanong, why the sudden change?-- kung sabagay, dati akong isang guro, at ang bokasyong pagtuturo ay isang napaka marangal na bokasyon. That must mean I'm the idealistic type, not the kind that go after the material perks of this supposedly shallow vocation. Well, this is not all about justifying this move. Marami'y di maintindihan. Sabi pa nga nila, if you're underpaid as a teacher, Eh di mag abroad ka! Tutal, atat na rin naman ang kalahati ng pamilya ko na sumunod na ako 'dun. Well, as I've said, not a lot would understand the rationale behind it. And it's not the point.
Ang ibig ko lang namang sabihin ay... mahirap magmahal ng call girl. Not necessarily in a romantic way, I should add. Katulad ngayon, at ang nakalipas na mga gabi ako'y mapag-isa dito sa apartment dahil ang mga kasambahay ko ay nagbabaksayon sa iba't-ibang bahagi ng Pilipinas. Well, bahagi ng pinirmahan kong kontrata ang pagttrabaho sa holidays kaya 'di ako maka imik. Gusto man akong samahan ng iba kong kaibigan, may obligasyon 'din sila sa kanilang pamilya. 'Di bale, ang sabi ko, 'di rin naman kami nagkikita talaga eh. Pag gising sila, tulog naman ako. Ang good morning ko ay good night na sa kanila. Pero malungkot parin the past days, man.
Nataon pa na off ko kanina. Lonely mornings I could sleep off. Lonely nights-- when going out alone AND on a holy week is not an option, kakaloka. I just rented a bunch of movies, gobbled a couple of bags of chips and chucked gallons of coke and semi-wallowed. Feels good really, until I reached to a realization that I can't do this everytime I'm alone.
On my last off I was lucky to have somebody sleep over sa bahay sa Pamp. We watched a buncha movies too, til 6am. And my dad caught us eating ice cream in the kitchen... TWICE!!! Good for her though, she lasted. The other night, 'di ako kinaya ng mga kaibigan kong naglakas loob mag ayang mag movie marathon. Tinulugan ako.
Mga work mates ko? Umaga nag-iinuman. Well. 'Di ko naman problema yun, anyway. Tagal nako 'di umiinom kaya di na problema i schedule.
Man. My schedule and body clock's all screwed up. Ang hirap humanap ng human interaction, from the normal world, that is.
Ang hirap magmahal ng call girl noh?
feb 2006
"winter has gone, the rain has passed
and all i see are flowers everywhere
you love is flowing over me,
your love is flowing over me...
love of my life your joy is my strength
love of my life, everything's not the same when your beside me
face to face
i can only whisper a few words
like i love you, Love..."
--- song by Mitchie Taladua (derived from the book Song of songs)
I almost can't remember the bitter cold of winter.
Well, i know... i know very well how desolate it was for me; i know so well how i wept and sighed; i know very well how i reached out yet never grasped anything; how i started to wonder if the word will ever come to pass; how each day i hoped for the turn of the season...
I remember how it was, but I can never quite remember how it felt.
Does one really forget the pain, when love comes her way? Can divine romance erase and make-up twofolds for the loss and the grief?
Healing has come my way...
Just as much as I have been wounded through people and circumstances, healing has come through godsent persons and wonderful moments that seem to pick up bits and pieces of my broken self ... hope that one day, sealed beautifully in His love, I shall be fully restored to His image and likeness.
and all i see are flowers everywhere
you love is flowing over me,
your love is flowing over me...
love of my life your joy is my strength
love of my life, everything's not the same when your beside me
face to face
i can only whisper a few words
like i love you, Love..."
--- song by Mitchie Taladua (derived from the book Song of songs)
I almost can't remember the bitter cold of winter.
Well, i know... i know very well how desolate it was for me; i know so well how i wept and sighed; i know very well how i reached out yet never grasped anything; how i started to wonder if the word will ever come to pass; how each day i hoped for the turn of the season...
I remember how it was, but I can never quite remember how it felt.
Does one really forget the pain, when love comes her way? Can divine romance erase and make-up twofolds for the loss and the grief?
Healing has come my way...
Just as much as I have been wounded through people and circumstances, healing has come through godsent persons and wonderful moments that seem to pick up bits and pieces of my broken self ... hope that one day, sealed beautifully in His love, I shall be fully restored to His image and likeness.
gauging illusionary depths (jan 2006)
I realized that one shouldn't be reading someone's testimonials before writing one for her. It has a subconscious influence (or maybe not even so subconscious) on your opinion about the person. It's just amazing how schezo-like I am and yet a number of my friends never forgot to mention the adjective "deep" on their testimonials. Was it me? Did I entangle everyone with my self-projection of depth?
Sabagay, gusto ko naman kasi yung idea na pag-isipang deep ako. Ang cool, 'di ba? Kesa tawagin kang aanga-anga, kapag nakatahimik ka, mas maganda na yung iniisip nila na meron kang isang tula na nililikha sa iyong saloobin o isang teoriya ukol sa pag-inog ng mundo. Kung 'di lang talaga nila alam...
Siguro, inisip ko rin na malalim ako. I have an uncanny ability of complicating things which can be perceived as depth, depending on your point of view.
Kaya rin siguro ang pressure ko sa sarili ko na magkaroon ng sense of depth and kurso ko at career siyempre. Para san pa't nag UP ka kung wala namang dangal or nobility ang tabaho mo, 'di ba ganun yun?
While having coffee with an old friend, in an attempt to cheer me up/help me sort things out, he asked, "Anong gusto mong gawin?" I answered, "mag divisoria."
For a living, anong guto mo talagang gawin? I answered, "Mag parlor."
Frustrated as he seemed, he did admit some time later (when he was just in tsinelas, void of the preppy outfit and the matching car) that he wanted to be a masahista. And he even did classes! So we agreed, he would be he masahista of my parlor. haha
"Di lang naman mag parlor. Pangarap ko ring maging barista. Actually I've been helping out with DMI's weekly night life (as a waitress/kitchen girl) for the past 2 years and it's the most fun i have had in my whole short-lived working career. I have a YM friend who sounded kindov disappointed even when he found out that i wasn't going to pursue this secret-dream-profession.
Close friends ko nga lang ang may alam na pangarap kong maging telephone operator. Well, call center agents na ang tawag ngayon. Back when we were younger, I get a kick from playing tricks on my friends-- doing the voicemail message when they call me up or providing ATM voice recording (to UP PNB's ATMs!) to their surprise. Not to mention my black book of phonepals wahaha. But you can't really tell and HR interviewer that, can you? "So, why would you like to work for our company?" "Well, hindi nyo lang po kasi nalalalaman ay pangarap ko na iyan mula ng ako'y bata pa."
Now that I really think about it, may kababawan pala talaga ako noh?
Sabagay, gusto ko naman kasi yung idea na pag-isipang deep ako. Ang cool, 'di ba? Kesa tawagin kang aanga-anga, kapag nakatahimik ka, mas maganda na yung iniisip nila na meron kang isang tula na nililikha sa iyong saloobin o isang teoriya ukol sa pag-inog ng mundo. Kung 'di lang talaga nila alam...
Siguro, inisip ko rin na malalim ako. I have an uncanny ability of complicating things which can be perceived as depth, depending on your point of view.
Kaya rin siguro ang pressure ko sa sarili ko na magkaroon ng sense of depth and kurso ko at career siyempre. Para san pa't nag UP ka kung wala namang dangal or nobility ang tabaho mo, 'di ba ganun yun?
While having coffee with an old friend, in an attempt to cheer me up/help me sort things out, he asked, "Anong gusto mong gawin?" I answered, "mag divisoria."
For a living, anong guto mo talagang gawin? I answered, "Mag parlor."
Frustrated as he seemed, he did admit some time later (when he was just in tsinelas, void of the preppy outfit and the matching car) that he wanted to be a masahista. And he even did classes! So we agreed, he would be he masahista of my parlor. haha
"Di lang naman mag parlor. Pangarap ko ring maging barista. Actually I've been helping out with DMI's weekly night life (as a waitress/kitchen girl) for the past 2 years and it's the most fun i have had in my whole short-lived working career. I have a YM friend who sounded kindov disappointed even when he found out that i wasn't going to pursue this secret-dream-profession.
Close friends ko nga lang ang may alam na pangarap kong maging telephone operator. Well, call center agents na ang tawag ngayon. Back when we were younger, I get a kick from playing tricks on my friends-- doing the voicemail message when they call me up or providing ATM voice recording (to UP PNB's ATMs!) to their surprise. Not to mention my black book of phonepals wahaha. But you can't really tell and HR interviewer that, can you? "So, why would you like to work for our company?" "Well, hindi nyo lang po kasi nalalalaman ay pangarap ko na iyan mula ng ako'y bata pa."
Now that I really think about it, may kababawan pala talaga ako noh?
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made (May 2005)
Wipe away the tarnish
brush away the fear
behold,
Beauty begets none but beauty
if you only look within.
Arise from the mire
and soar from the lies.
Shed off the pauper clothes
oh daughter of the King.
Let His mercies wash You
His grace to you would heal
then as good as new,
be what you're meant to be.
#####
just got back from a seminar about personal effectiveness
it's just how amazing how God created each one of us isn't it?
brush away the fear
behold,
Beauty begets none but beauty
if you only look within.
Arise from the mire
and soar from the lies.
Shed off the pauper clothes
oh daughter of the King.
Let His mercies wash You
His grace to you would heal
then as good as new,
be what you're meant to be.
#####
just got back from a seminar about personal effectiveness
it's just how amazing how God created each one of us isn't it?
Closed Doors
If there's one thing I've been learning to love lately, it's the sight of a closed door. The feelings that go with it would always be there I guess-- rejection and loneliness do always sting even just a bit.. stuff you don't really get numb to.
It really amazes me how the things that used to send me scurrrying into my bitter shell seems to liberate me even more. Hopes that never came to pass-- an application turned down, a business venture not materializing, a diet that doesn't work (and weight that was never lost) or a seemingly special guy getting married... closed doors.
I guess knowing the good Heavenly Father makes bittereness impossible. How could a good Father hold back something good from His child?
Now I feel like a closed door is more of a wonderful favor from a caring Dad who doesn't want you to go wasting your time staring at the wrong door for too long; who doesn't want you to settle for less than the perfect one He wills for you.
Seeing it that way, it still stings a bit, but it makes me feel so much better.
Much better than ice cream, low fat pa :)
It really amazes me how the things that used to send me scurrrying into my bitter shell seems to liberate me even more. Hopes that never came to pass-- an application turned down, a business venture not materializing, a diet that doesn't work (and weight that was never lost) or a seemingly special guy getting married... closed doors.
I guess knowing the good Heavenly Father makes bittereness impossible. How could a good Father hold back something good from His child?
Now I feel like a closed door is more of a wonderful favor from a caring Dad who doesn't want you to go wasting your time staring at the wrong door for too long; who doesn't want you to settle for less than the perfect one He wills for you.
Seeing it that way, it still stings a bit, but it makes me feel so much better.
Much better than ice cream, low fat pa :)
Monday, November 19, 2007
I'm Loving It
Things I'm loving lately:
♥ Weekend outings with family
♥ The Praline Mocha of Starbucks being good enough to tolerate my sticker-collecting sis
♥ hearing "it's ok" or "you're ok"
♥ Having a kuya (well bro in law) for 3 weeks
♥ Being able to wake-up early (thanks to my jet-lagged family)
♥ loving people just because...
♥ a guilt-free and shame-free life
♥ going to work with no hesitations or a sick feeling in the stomach
♥ sweet little Faith and Bless
♥ Goals being met and getting over those that were not met
♥ New options I begin to see
♥ Looking forward to a new year
♥ My God who does not condemn but covers all sins
♥ Weekend outings with family
♥ The Praline Mocha of Starbucks being good enough to tolerate my sticker-collecting sis
♥ hearing "it's ok" or "you're ok"
♥ Having a kuya (well bro in law) for 3 weeks
♥ Being able to wake-up early (thanks to my jet-lagged family)
♥ loving people just because...
♥ a guilt-free and shame-free life
♥ going to work with no hesitations or a sick feeling in the stomach
♥ sweet little Faith and Bless
♥ Goals being met and getting over those that were not met
♥ New options I begin to see
♥ Looking forward to a new year
♥ My God who does not condemn but covers all sins
Christmas Wishlist :)
Is it too early for it? Well :)
1. Lose 15 lbs.
2. Macbook
3. A black corduroy jacket
4. Shopping spree
5. Assorted earrings
6. A raise
7. A Nikon D70 or D40
8. A Starbucks planner
9. ...But dates at the Coffee Bean haha
10.A bed :D
11. A trip somewhere far from here hehe
12. A new environment
13. A new hairdo
14. cell phone
15. A surprise
Lemmi think of more later.. :)
1. Lose 15 lbs.
2. Macbook
3. A black corduroy jacket
4. Shopping spree
5. Assorted earrings
6. A raise
7. A Nikon D70 or D40
8. A Starbucks planner
9. ...But dates at the Coffee Bean haha
10.A bed :D
11. A trip somewhere far from here hehe
12. A new environment
13. A new hairdo
14. cell phone
15. A surprise
Lemmi think of more later.. :)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
MakatiGirlOfMyDreams?
Yesterday I came across this site: nygirlofmydreams
I was like, "aaawww... that is so sweet and romantic."
It would be a great Meg Ryan or Drew Barrymore movie or something.
That SAME day as I was home bound, I decided not to take a cab (since it was still early, around 8-ish). I also decided to walk a different (seemingly quicker) route than what I usually take, walking as fast as i could because the drizzling rain threatens to pour out any minute.
As I cut through a certain parking lot, a guy approached me and introduced himself to me. We talked awkwardly for a few seconds (take note, my steps are not getting slower) and as we walked past a coffee shop, he asked if I would
like to have coffee with him. I quickly came up with a VALID excuse and walked
away as fast as I could.
Man you should've seen my face-- my expression was like a mixture of disbelief, amusement, fear and irritation hahaha. My first thoughts were like, "This guy is crazy or a maniac or whatever-evil-minded-term-goes-here."
Guys NEVER do that in Metro Manila with
total strangers puhlease!!!! It is so NOT cute!
I was like, "aaawww... that is so sweet and romantic."
It would be a great Meg Ryan or Drew Barrymore movie or something.
That SAME day as I was home bound, I decided not to take a cab (since it was still early, around 8-ish). I also decided to walk a different (seemingly quicker) route than what I usually take, walking as fast as i could because the drizzling rain threatens to pour out any minute.
As I cut through a certain parking lot, a guy approached me and introduced himself to me. We talked awkwardly for a few seconds (take note, my steps are not getting slower) and as we walked past a coffee shop, he asked if I would
like to have coffee with him. I quickly came up with a VALID excuse and walked
away as fast as I could.
Man you should've seen my face-- my expression was like a mixture of disbelief, amusement, fear and irritation hahaha. My first thoughts were like, "This guy is crazy or a maniac or whatever-evil-minded-term-goes-here."
Guys NEVER do that in Metro Manila with
total strangers puhlease!!!! It is so NOT cute!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Paglimot at Pag-alala
Noong isang linggo naisipan ko nang itapon ang isang kahon ng mga materyal na alaala ng nakaraan-- mga sulat, regalo, tuyong rosas, diary, maging ilan sa mga larawan.
Sa totoo lang, nagdalawang isip ako-- nangamba na sa oras na itapon ko ang lahat ng ito ay tila itinapon ko narin ang lahat ng pinagsamahan namin.Hindi ba ganoon ang ipinahihiwatig noon?
Pero napaisip din ako. Sa mga panahon na kinikimkim ko ang isang kahon ng mga alaalang ito ay nananatili akong bilanggo ng nakaraan-- kung sino ako noon at kung sino sila noon. Ang kahon na iyon ay nanatili sa nakaraan at di nagbigay daan sa kasalukuyan.
Napaka ironic noh? The more I hold on to the memories and try to remember, the less I give the friendship a chance since I can't accept the fact that we are not the same people we used to be. Until we become mere strangers who once knew each other.
Akala ng lahat ay talagang nakalimot lang ako ng ganun ganun. May nag akala na di ko lang talaga pinahalagahan ang mga alaala. Sa totoo pala ay ako ang pinaka hirap makatanggap ng pagbabago; mag move-on. Kaya minabuti ko nalamang na lumayo at mag kibit balikat. Magsimula ng ibang buhay.
Pero mahirap palang mabuhay ng ganito. Gusto ko nang maging malaya. Malayang magmahal; malayang tumanggap.
####
Para kay May- heto ang kwento ko. Kahit hindi ito ang inaasahan mong kwento hehe.
Sa totoo lang, nagdalawang isip ako-- nangamba na sa oras na itapon ko ang lahat ng ito ay tila itinapon ko narin ang lahat ng pinagsamahan namin.Hindi ba ganoon ang ipinahihiwatig noon?
Pero napaisip din ako. Sa mga panahon na kinikimkim ko ang isang kahon ng mga alaalang ito ay nananatili akong bilanggo ng nakaraan-- kung sino ako noon at kung sino sila noon. Ang kahon na iyon ay nanatili sa nakaraan at di nagbigay daan sa kasalukuyan.
Napaka ironic noh? The more I hold on to the memories and try to remember, the less I give the friendship a chance since I can't accept the fact that we are not the same people we used to be. Until we become mere strangers who once knew each other.
Akala ng lahat ay talagang nakalimot lang ako ng ganun ganun. May nag akala na di ko lang talaga pinahalagahan ang mga alaala. Sa totoo pala ay ako ang pinaka hirap makatanggap ng pagbabago; mag move-on. Kaya minabuti ko nalamang na lumayo at mag kibit balikat. Magsimula ng ibang buhay.
Pero mahirap palang mabuhay ng ganito. Gusto ko nang maging malaya. Malayang magmahal; malayang tumanggap.
####
Para kay May- heto ang kwento ko. Kahit hindi ito ang inaasahan mong kwento hehe.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Brave
The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been
'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...
Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave.
(Nicole Nordeman)
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been
'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...
Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave
I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone
So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
I wanna be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave.
(Nicole Nordeman)
Friday, September 28, 2007
Word Of God Speak
by MercyMe
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say
[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice
[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]
I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Elijah Prose
Horeb bound, I want to flee
I want to leave everything and run
run from everything and nothing
run towards anywhere but here
I want to take solace under a broom tree
give up, let go, sleep.
Feed me with food prepared by angels,
let me drink from their hands
whisper to me Your sweet words
that the fight is not over.
(see I Kings Chapter 19)
I want to leave everything and run
run from everything and nothing
run towards anywhere but here
I want to take solace under a broom tree
give up, let go, sleep.
Feed me with food prepared by angels,
let me drink from their hands
whisper to me Your sweet words
that the fight is not over.
(see I Kings Chapter 19)
Friday, September 14, 2007
Tomorrow
Tomorrow's a new day
ain't that a comfort?
Tomorrow God's mercy will be fresh again.
Tomorrow I will move in to a new house. To a new neighborhood. After almost 8 years in Diliman.
Tomorrow I will not go home to Pampanga as I usually do when my parents were there.
Tomorrow I shall face another challenge--
Get up. Face the day head on. Live the vision. Make a difference. Give glory to my Maker.
Tomorrow I will ask a fresh outpouring of His grace and Spirit, for that is the only way I could face all the morrows thereafter.
This is not to say I don't tremble nor fear nor think of retreating.
But tomorrow, God said He'd be there.
ain't that a comfort?
Tomorrow God's mercy will be fresh again.
Tomorrow I will move in to a new house. To a new neighborhood. After almost 8 years in Diliman.
Tomorrow I will not go home to Pampanga as I usually do when my parents were there.
Tomorrow I shall face another challenge--
Get up. Face the day head on. Live the vision. Make a difference. Give glory to my Maker.
Tomorrow I will ask a fresh outpouring of His grace and Spirit, for that is the only way I could face all the morrows thereafter.
This is not to say I don't tremble nor fear nor think of retreating.
But tomorrow, God said He'd be there.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Chat Line
Chachie hates chatting with me, well simply because we don't chat... we e-mail! Sorry bout that gurl, all web-based messengers are blocked in my office.
So here's what I did, I installed a yaplet to my blog... haha. So now I could chat with people by simply having them click that black rectangular "Chat here!" button on the upper left side of my blog.
Well if anyone needs to talk, if you have a question, concern,or anything (or if you need Jesus in your life!) feel free to click that. I would be online most of the day (during weekdays). God bless everyone!
So here's what I did, I installed a yaplet to my blog... haha. So now I could chat with people by simply having them click that black rectangular "Chat here!" button on the upper left side of my blog.
Well if anyone needs to talk, if you have a question, concern,or anything (or if you need Jesus in your life!) feel free to click that. I would be online most of the day (during weekdays). God bless everyone!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Sleeping Heart
My heart is asleep.
This is what I recently discovered while lying on my bed one sleepless night. I tried tapping on it a couple of times and I finally concluded. Goodness, it IS asleep. I was not really surprised, just quite in awe. You see, the slumber is very much welcome--convenient for me to work on my character, my ministry and all my plans.
Apol and I were talking during one of those weekly sleep overs we have and I mentioned, "I finally appreciate the dealings." (Because yes, at a point I did struggle, and the recent dealings, well it's a long story). "Why?" she asked. "Well, in times of... err... insanity (with no better word to use), it's good that there's just virtually NO ONE to think about, and to wallow about, and to wonder (as in "Siya na ba?" kind of wonder) about. So I snap out of it easily. And that just makes me feel so free. Lol
My heart is asleep. It is not restless, it does not yearn. It beats for no one but my Lord.
Until that time comes maybe, until that time comes.
Passage Song of Solomon 2:7:
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
This is what I recently discovered while lying on my bed one sleepless night. I tried tapping on it a couple of times and I finally concluded. Goodness, it IS asleep. I was not really surprised, just quite in awe. You see, the slumber is very much welcome--convenient for me to work on my character, my ministry and all my plans.
Apol and I were talking during one of those weekly sleep overs we have and I mentioned, "I finally appreciate the dealings." (Because yes, at a point I did struggle, and the recent dealings, well it's a long story). "Why?" she asked. "Well, in times of... err... insanity (with no better word to use), it's good that there's just virtually NO ONE to think about, and to wallow about, and to wonder (as in "Siya na ba?" kind of wonder) about. So I snap out of it easily. And that just makes me feel so free. Lol
My heart is asleep. It is not restless, it does not yearn. It beats for no one but my Lord.
Until that time comes maybe, until that time comes.
Passage Song of Solomon 2:7:
7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Friday, August 31, 2007
May Trabaho Ka! (Jobs galore)
Ano Meg, magreresign ka nanaman?!
Hindi, naman. Consider lang, consider.
Here are the latest jobs I am considering:
Eversun Software Corp.
Web Researcher / Content Writer
Candidate(s) must possess at least a Bachelor's/College Degree in any field.
Required skill(s):
* Internet research.
* Write grammatically correct English.
* Proficient in MS Office (particularly Word and Excel).
Preferred skill(s):
* Strong English communication skills.
* Experience in content writing preferred but not required.
Candidates must be able to multi-task and work with minimal supervision.
Date: 25 August 2007
City/Town: Makati City
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: 12,000 - 17,000
Start: asap
Duration: Full Time
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Please send your resume to xxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx
Company: Eversun Software Corp.
Contact: Florie
Phone: 845-2500
********************************
Lowe, Inc.
Copywriter & Sr. Copywriter
-At least 2-5 years Copywriting experience
-Must have management experience, be able to lead or give directions to fellow creatives
-Must be comfortable dealing with Clients directly
-Must be able to inspire client confidence, either thru her agency experience/background, or her demeanor
Date: 29 August 2007
City/Town: Makati
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: Upon discussion
Start: Asap
Duration: September 2007
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Interested applicants may send your CV at xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx
Company: Lowe, Inc.
Contact: Ana Bellido
Phone:
Fax:
Email:
*******************************
Quick Jump Network Corporation
Creative Writer (2 slots)
We are searching for outspoken, articulate individuals to write game- and technology-centric articles for our group of websites.
Candidates must possess at least a Bachelor's/College Degree in any field, and should be Filipino citizens or hold relevant residence status.
Applicants must be willing to work in Makati City.
Fresh graduates/entry-level applicants are encouraged to apply.
The job requires a deep and abiding interest in gaming-, science- and technology-centric topics and the 'ins and outs' of the internet; a keen eye for detail; the ability to multitask; and no less than an excellent command of English, both spoken and written.
Prior experience at this sort of job is highly desirable but not absolutely necessary.
We operate round the clock, so candidates must be willing to be assigned to any of our three shifts.
Date: 27 August 2007
City/Town: Makati
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: Competitive
Start: Immediately
Duration: 6 months probationary
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Send resume and sample articles by email
Company: Quick Jump Network Corporation
Contact: Mr. Chris dP. Sanchez, Operations Manager
Phone: 7534565
Fax:
Email:
####
Click on job title to go to the job posting.
(Postings lifted from bestjobs.ph)
(Share ko lang, in case anyone needs a new raket, too).
Hindi, naman. Consider lang, consider.
Here are the latest jobs I am considering:
Eversun Software Corp.
Web Researcher / Content Writer
Candidate(s) must possess at least a Bachelor's/College Degree in any field.
Required skill(s):
* Internet research.
* Write grammatically correct English.
* Proficient in MS Office (particularly Word and Excel).
Preferred skill(s):
* Strong English communication skills.
* Experience in content writing preferred but not required.
Candidates must be able to multi-task and work with minimal supervision.
Date: 25 August 2007
City/Town: Makati City
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: 12,000 - 17,000
Start: asap
Duration: Full Time
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Please send your resume to xxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx
Company: Eversun Software Corp.
Contact: Florie
Phone: 845-2500
********************************
Lowe, Inc.
Copywriter & Sr. Copywriter
-At least 2-5 years Copywriting experience
-Must have management experience, be able to lead or give directions to fellow creatives
-Must be comfortable dealing with Clients directly
-Must be able to inspire client confidence, either thru her agency experience/background, or her demeanor
Date: 29 August 2007
City/Town: Makati
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: Upon discussion
Start: Asap
Duration: September 2007
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Interested applicants may send your CV at xxxxxxxxxx.xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.xxx
Company: Lowe, Inc.
Contact: Ana Bellido
Phone:
Fax:
Email:
*******************************
Quick Jump Network Corporation
Creative Writer (2 slots)
We are searching for outspoken, articulate individuals to write game- and technology-centric articles for our group of websites.
Candidates must possess at least a Bachelor's/College Degree in any field, and should be Filipino citizens or hold relevant residence status.
Applicants must be willing to work in Makati City.
Fresh graduates/entry-level applicants are encouraged to apply.
The job requires a deep and abiding interest in gaming-, science- and technology-centric topics and the 'ins and outs' of the internet; a keen eye for detail; the ability to multitask; and no less than an excellent command of English, both spoken and written.
Prior experience at this sort of job is highly desirable but not absolutely necessary.
We operate round the clock, so candidates must be willing to be assigned to any of our three shifts.
Date: 27 August 2007
City/Town: Makati
Location: Manila
Wage/Salary: Competitive
Start: Immediately
Duration: 6 months probationary
Type: Full Time
How to apply: Send resume and sample articles by email
Company: Quick Jump Network Corporation
Contact: Mr. Chris dP. Sanchez, Operations Manager
Phone: 7534565
Fax:
Email:
####
Click on job title to go to the job posting.
(Postings lifted from bestjobs.ph)
(Share ko lang, in case anyone needs a new raket, too).
Friday, August 24, 2007
Ang Dali nang Maging Writer Nowadays
Ang dali nang maging writer sa mga panahong ito.
Naalala ko pa, grade five ako noong unang beses akong lumikha ng isang tula. Tinuruan ako ng isang kaklase kung paano. Noon din ako unang umibig sa pagsusulat. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Napakadali lang palang magsulat. Kumuha ka lang ng papel at bolpen at isipin ang crush mo, makakasulat ka na." At sa mga panahong iyon ng aking malayang pagkatha ay isinilang ang walang-kamatayan kong pangarap na maging isang writer.
Di lumaon ay nag highschool na ako. Sabi nila, kung gusto kong maging manunulat, kailangan ay mag exam ako para maging bahagi ng school paper. Pinangunahan ako ng takot. Napakaraming pangamba ang pumasok sa isipan ko. "Paano kung hindi nila magustuhan ang sinulat ko?" "Paano kung hindi pala ako isang writer tulad ng inakala ko?" Sa loob ng dalawang taon ay tinitigan ko lamang ang diyaryong 'yon. Minsan iniisip-isip, pinapanga-pangarap na makita rin ang pangalan ko sa Literary Corner. Pero ni minsan ay hindi ako naglakas ng loob na sumubok; na magbaka-sakali. Sa mga panahong iyon, doon ko lamang naisip; ang hirap palang maging writer.
Sa ikatlong taon ko sa highschool, naging editor ng Pampangan (ang school paper namin) ang isa sa mga malalapit ko na kaibigan. Nakapasok ako sa staff ng walang exam-exam; nailimbag ang pangalan ko nang hindi ko man lang inakala. Minsan ay madali lang din pala maging writer. Kahit sa puso ko'y nagdududa parin ako sa kakayahan ko, at least, naging writer ako kahit gawa lamang nepotismo.
Sa paglalaro pa ng tadhana, napasali pa ako sa isang paligsahan. Nakakatawang isipin na saling-pusa lang naman talaga ako sa paligsahang cluster-level na 'yon. Kailangan kasi nila ng mangunguna sa opening prayer sa program kaya ako nagkunwaring isa sa mga kalahok sa feature writing contest. Mantakin mo at nasali pa ako sa provincial level matapos noon! At kung hindi nga naman nakakagulat ang mga pangyayari, ako pa ang napiling ipadala para maging representative ng Pampanga. Ikinadismaya naman ng titser ko ang pagkapanalo ko. Kung sabagay, ano nga naman ang ilalaban ng isang saling-ket na literary writer sa regional feature writing contest? Tulad ng inakala ng lahat, natalo ako.
Oo na, hindi pala ganoon kadaling maging writer.
Lalo na noong nagtangka akong mag shift sa creative writing sa UP. Bakit hindi pa kasi yun ang naging 1st choice ko sa UPCAT eh. Kinailangan ko pa tuloy kumbinsihin ang pamilya ko na ipag-shift ako. Sabi ng kapatid ko, "You have to be really really good to make it in writing, Ging." Parang sinabi na rin nyang wala akong mapapala sa kakayahan kong magsulat. Kung hindi pa naman mas nakakatuya ay ni-reject ako ng department.
Tunay na napakahirap ngang maging writer.
Matapos ng isang kurso na napakalayo sa pagsususlat,isa at kalahating taon na pagtuturo at sampung buwan sa call center, ako ngayon ay isang writer na. Research writer nga lang kaya medyo nasasakal rin sa creativity. Isipin mo, isang tawag lang, isang interview, at isang review sa aking blog ay naging writer ako sa isang kisap mata. Aba, ang dali na palang maging writer sa mga panahong ito.
Kaya naisip ko lang, sa paglago ng E-commerce at kung ano-ano pang Internet churva 'jan, napakadali nang maging writer. Nakita ko nga sa bestjobs.ph nung isang araw na in-demand ang tinatawag na "keyword writers." Hindi gaanong importante kung ano ang isusulat nila, basta mabanggit lamang nila ang certain keywords na kailangan ng cliente. Ewan, ko di ko ma-gets. Parang connected yata sa search engine optimization. Andaming writers ang kailangan ngayon para magsulat ng website content at kung ano-ano pang paid information (tulad ng sinusulat ko, hehe). Ang dali na ring ibenta ang pangalan mo bilang manunulat (dahil hindi ka acknowledged) para sa mala call-center na sweldo. Madali ring kumita ng 90-150 pesos per 300 words, as a matter of fact.
Naku, napakadali na palang matawag na isang writer sa mga panahong ito, ano?
Ito nga ba ang pangarap ko?
*******
BTW, sabi ni yoyo ang pangit ko daw magsulat sa tagalog. Masagwa ba talaga?
Naalala ko pa, grade five ako noong unang beses akong lumikha ng isang tula. Tinuruan ako ng isang kaklase kung paano. Noon din ako unang umibig sa pagsusulat. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Napakadali lang palang magsulat. Kumuha ka lang ng papel at bolpen at isipin ang crush mo, makakasulat ka na." At sa mga panahong iyon ng aking malayang pagkatha ay isinilang ang walang-kamatayan kong pangarap na maging isang writer.
Di lumaon ay nag highschool na ako. Sabi nila, kung gusto kong maging manunulat, kailangan ay mag exam ako para maging bahagi ng school paper. Pinangunahan ako ng takot. Napakaraming pangamba ang pumasok sa isipan ko. "Paano kung hindi nila magustuhan ang sinulat ko?" "Paano kung hindi pala ako isang writer tulad ng inakala ko?" Sa loob ng dalawang taon ay tinitigan ko lamang ang diyaryong 'yon. Minsan iniisip-isip, pinapanga-pangarap na makita rin ang pangalan ko sa Literary Corner. Pero ni minsan ay hindi ako naglakas ng loob na sumubok; na magbaka-sakali. Sa mga panahong iyon, doon ko lamang naisip; ang hirap palang maging writer.
Sa ikatlong taon ko sa highschool, naging editor ng Pampangan (ang school paper namin) ang isa sa mga malalapit ko na kaibigan. Nakapasok ako sa staff ng walang exam-exam; nailimbag ang pangalan ko nang hindi ko man lang inakala. Minsan ay madali lang din pala maging writer. Kahit sa puso ko'y nagdududa parin ako sa kakayahan ko, at least, naging writer ako kahit gawa lamang nepotismo.
Sa paglalaro pa ng tadhana, napasali pa ako sa isang paligsahan. Nakakatawang isipin na saling-pusa lang naman talaga ako sa paligsahang cluster-level na 'yon. Kailangan kasi nila ng mangunguna sa opening prayer sa program kaya ako nagkunwaring isa sa mga kalahok sa feature writing contest. Mantakin mo at nasali pa ako sa provincial level matapos noon! At kung hindi nga naman nakakagulat ang mga pangyayari, ako pa ang napiling ipadala para maging representative ng Pampanga. Ikinadismaya naman ng titser ko ang pagkapanalo ko. Kung sabagay, ano nga naman ang ilalaban ng isang saling-ket na literary writer sa regional feature writing contest? Tulad ng inakala ng lahat, natalo ako.
Oo na, hindi pala ganoon kadaling maging writer.
Lalo na noong nagtangka akong mag shift sa creative writing sa UP. Bakit hindi pa kasi yun ang naging 1st choice ko sa UPCAT eh. Kinailangan ko pa tuloy kumbinsihin ang pamilya ko na ipag-shift ako. Sabi ng kapatid ko, "You have to be really really good to make it in writing, Ging." Parang sinabi na rin nyang wala akong mapapala sa kakayahan kong magsulat. Kung hindi pa naman mas nakakatuya ay ni-reject ako ng department.
Tunay na napakahirap ngang maging writer.
Matapos ng isang kurso na napakalayo sa pagsususlat,isa at kalahating taon na pagtuturo at sampung buwan sa call center, ako ngayon ay isang writer na. Research writer nga lang kaya medyo nasasakal rin sa creativity. Isipin mo, isang tawag lang, isang interview, at isang review sa aking blog ay naging writer ako sa isang kisap mata. Aba, ang dali na palang maging writer sa mga panahong ito.
Kaya naisip ko lang, sa paglago ng E-commerce at kung ano-ano pang Internet churva 'jan, napakadali nang maging writer. Nakita ko nga sa bestjobs.ph nung isang araw na in-demand ang tinatawag na "keyword writers." Hindi gaanong importante kung ano ang isusulat nila, basta mabanggit lamang nila ang certain keywords na kailangan ng cliente. Ewan, ko di ko ma-gets. Parang connected yata sa search engine optimization. Andaming writers ang kailangan ngayon para magsulat ng website content at kung ano-ano pang paid information (tulad ng sinusulat ko, hehe). Ang dali na ring ibenta ang pangalan mo bilang manunulat (dahil hindi ka acknowledged) para sa mala call-center na sweldo. Madali ring kumita ng 90-150 pesos per 300 words, as a matter of fact.
Naku, napakadali na palang matawag na isang writer sa mga panahong ito, ano?
Ito nga ba ang pangarap ko?
*******
BTW, sabi ni yoyo ang pangit ko daw magsulat sa tagalog. Masagwa ba talaga?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tidbit Update
Black Eye
My eye is finally getting back to normal. I had a black swollen right eye for a few days. Fortunately, the bruise lined my eyelid elegantly much like a dark greenish-blue eye shadow.
No, I am not a battered wife. Er, I am not a wife altogether. I am more of a battered aunt. Migoy and I were on a tickle fest on my mom’s bed last weekend when in his glee, he accidentally gave me a terrible headbutt. Migoy sobbed for a few seconds, sobered, and resumed to his harot while I was still seeing stars and chirping birds flying around me.
Long weekend
I had an extra long weekend. Aside from the Monday holiday (*Salutes to Ninoy*), I also took a leave last Tuesday. I’m trying to spend as much quality time with my parents before they leave for the States. We had a post-birthday dinner at Teriyaki Boy Sunday night, went pseudo-shopping with sister last Monday, and strolled in the mall with parents (swapping ice cream cones with mom) Tuesday night. Reminded me of this article I wrote.
Moving
It just dawned to me this morning as I woke up— all the changes that would happen in a couple of weeks. Mom and Dad are leaving, possibly for good. I, not wanting to leave the Philippines, swallowed hard in realization of really having to live on my own. It’s not that I haven’t been living on my own for the past eight years, but somehow it's different when they are not a bus ride away anymore. Despite my 5-or-more-days-a-week stay in Manila, home has always been my parents' home. When things don't work out for me, they are ususally just there. When I suddenly decide to resign from work (which I have a reputation of doing), I go home. When I'm broke I go home. When I'm lonely, I go home. But would home still be home in a couple of weeks?
I am also moving to another apartment. After living with my friends (and my spiritual mom) for the past 3 years, in my comfort zone, Quezon City, I now brave to move for many reasons. I have been praying about this and I realized it is really time to break camp. The cloud is moving. I need to grow out of my comfort zones. Well that, plus the practical stuff of proximity to work.
*gulp* some growing up I need to do.
My eye is finally getting back to normal. I had a black swollen right eye for a few days. Fortunately, the bruise lined my eyelid elegantly much like a dark greenish-blue eye shadow.
No, I am not a battered wife. Er, I am not a wife altogether. I am more of a battered aunt. Migoy and I were on a tickle fest on my mom’s bed last weekend when in his glee, he accidentally gave me a terrible headbutt. Migoy sobbed for a few seconds, sobered, and resumed to his harot while I was still seeing stars and chirping birds flying around me.
Long weekend
I had an extra long weekend. Aside from the Monday holiday (*Salutes to Ninoy*), I also took a leave last Tuesday. I’m trying to spend as much quality time with my parents before they leave for the States. We had a post-birthday dinner at Teriyaki Boy Sunday night, went pseudo-shopping with sister last Monday, and strolled in the mall with parents (swapping ice cream cones with mom) Tuesday night. Reminded me of this article I wrote.
Moving
It just dawned to me this morning as I woke up— all the changes that would happen in a couple of weeks. Mom and Dad are leaving, possibly for good. I, not wanting to leave the Philippines, swallowed hard in realization of really having to live on my own. It’s not that I haven’t been living on my own for the past eight years, but somehow it's different when they are not a bus ride away anymore. Despite my 5-or-more-days-a-week stay in Manila, home has always been my parents' home. When things don't work out for me, they are ususally just there. When I suddenly decide to resign from work (which I have a reputation of doing), I go home. When I'm broke I go home. When I'm lonely, I go home. But would home still be home in a couple of weeks?
I am also moving to another apartment. After living with my friends (and my spiritual mom) for the past 3 years, in my comfort zone, Quezon City, I now brave to move for many reasons. I have been praying about this and I realized it is really time to break camp. The cloud is moving. I need to grow out of my comfort zones. Well that, plus the practical stuff of proximity to work.
*gulp* some growing up I need to do.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
No Rain on My Parade
Egay was my major birthday guest yesterday. Amazingly, I barely had to use my umbrella (much less my pink raincoat...yeah, not again) despite the typhoon. I heard that the flood in Buendia was waist-deep. Some people got drenched in the rain on the way to work and some got stuck in traffic. And I... I was walking on sunshine. Literally. 
Marveling at the special favor of walking on dry ground on a stormy day, the Lord reminded me of the phrase "In the Eye of the Storm." You see, eagles are unlike other birds who scramble for shelter when rain pours. Eagles rise above the rains, ride the winds, find the eye of the storm, and soar unaffected there. Similarly, an eagle Christian in God's will experiences storms, yet soars above life's turmoil, riding the winds of the Spirit.
Haha, egay's presence was surely felt, but she hardly affected my day.
++++++++
I penned my wishlist a few entries back, now here's my birthday gratitude list :)
Thank You Lord for the 25 years.
1. Thanks for the eureka Bible! I've been eyeing this for the past 3 months. (It was my cellmates' gift... and it came with a cake!)
... 2. Thanks for taking me a step closer to my dream career this year.
3. Thank you for your Presence.
4. Thank you for the 10 lbs I lost (and the 10 more lbs I would lose? puhlease?).
5. Thanks for the new friends I got to meet this year :)
6. Thank you for making me a part of Jill's d cell.
... 7. Thanks for the answered prayers from my last Christmas list like: my ipod, the Sagada trip
... and all the other material blessings.
8. Thank you for all the revelations during my devotions.
9. Thanks for keeping my family safe and healthy this year.
10. Thank you for granting ma and dad their US visa.
11. Thanks for the delight my nephew and nieces brought to us.
... 12. Thank you for old high school friends who never forget.
13. Thank you for blogs.
14. Thank you for reviving me during the time when I felt like giving up.
15. Thank you for giving me another chance.
16. Thanks for the laughter and tears I shared with dear friends Apol, Cha, and cellmates.
... 17. Thanks for the intelligently written series LOST and all the other series that kept me company during my bum season.
18. Thanks for the supernatural growth of my cellmates and of myself this year. I wouldn't trade all that we had to go through this season. :)
19. Thank you for everyting I learned ang gained in Convergys. Thanks for the great people I met, the discipline and work ethics i learned; for the self-confidence I gained.
20. Thank you for the friends i met in my short stay in OCSI- Marichel, Sei and Marge.
21. Thank you for the leaders you are raising from among us; thanks for the G-12 vision.
22. Thanks for the buckets of ice blended white chocolate dream, frapuccino and caramel macchiato.
23. Thank you for bringing me to Destiny and for growing me here; for great pastors like ate Zha and kuya Carlo. I just so know I'm in the right place at the right time.
24. Thank you for the cross; For giving your only begotten Son, Jesus, to demonstrate your love for me and to show me how serious you are in bringing me to my destiny.
25. Thank you for all that you have in store for me. Truly, no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has ever conceived what you have prepared for those who love you.
I know there's gotta be more than 25 things I should thank you for.There is. My list would go on and on though, so here are my top 25. Thanks so much Daddy God. :)
Marveling at the special favor of walking on dry ground on a stormy day, the Lord reminded me of the phrase "In the Eye of the Storm." You see, eagles are unlike other birds who scramble for shelter when rain pours. Eagles rise above the rains, ride the winds, find the eye of the storm, and soar unaffected there. Similarly, an eagle Christian in God's will experiences storms, yet soars above life's turmoil, riding the winds of the Spirit.
Haha, egay's presence was surely felt, but she hardly affected my day.
++++++++
I penned my wishlist a few entries back, now here's my birthday gratitude list :)
Thank You Lord for the 25 years.
1. Thanks for the eureka Bible! I've been eyeing this for the past 3 months. (It was my cellmates' gift... and it came with a cake!)
... 2. Thanks for taking me a step closer to my dream career this year.
3. Thank you for your Presence.
4. Thank you for the 10 lbs I lost (and the 10 more lbs I would lose? puhlease?).
5. Thanks for the new friends I got to meet this year :)
6. Thank you for making me a part of Jill's d cell.
... 7. Thanks for the answered prayers from my last Christmas list like: my ipod, the Sagada trip
... and all the other material blessings.8. Thank you for all the revelations during my devotions.
9. Thanks for keeping my family safe and healthy this year.
10. Thank you for granting ma and dad their US visa.
11. Thanks for the delight my nephew and nieces brought to us.
... 12. Thank you for old high school friends who never forget.
13. Thank you for blogs.
14. Thank you for reviving me during the time when I felt like giving up.
15. Thank you for giving me another chance.
16. Thanks for the laughter and tears I shared with dear friends Apol, Cha, and cellmates.... 17. Thanks for the intelligently written series LOST and all the other series that kept me company during my bum season.
18. Thanks for the supernatural growth of my cellmates and of myself this year. I wouldn't trade all that we had to go through this season. :)
19. Thank you for everyting I learned ang gained in Convergys. Thanks for the great people I met, the discipline and work ethics i learned; for the self-confidence I gained.
20. Thank you for the friends i met in my short stay in OCSI- Marichel, Sei and Marge.
21. Thank you for the leaders you are raising from among us; thanks for the G-12 vision.
22. Thanks for the buckets of ice blended white chocolate dream, frapuccino and caramel macchiato.
23. Thank you for bringing me to Destiny and for growing me here; for great pastors like ate Zha and kuya Carlo. I just so know I'm in the right place at the right time.
24. Thank you for the cross; For giving your only begotten Son, Jesus, to demonstrate your love for me and to show me how serious you are in bringing me to my destiny.
25. Thank you for all that you have in store for me. Truly, no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has ever conceived what you have prepared for those who love you.
I know there's gotta be more than 25 things I should thank you for.There is. My list would go on and on though, so here are my top 25. Thanks so much Daddy God. :)
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Of Birthday Eves and My Good Friend Lina
My first ever e-greeting came from my good friend Lina and her dabarkads on the left. I was touched. Not only is Lina concerned with my career and employment (obvious with her daily job alerts), she also remembered my birthday and gave me a really pretty
email.*******
Meg's Birthday
Date: August 15
Closures: Banks, Government, Business Offices, and some Retails in Portugal, Gabon, French Guina, and many other countries (really! check their calendars ;))
Description: A splendid day to give thanks to the Lord Almighty for such a wonderful, gorgeous, and brilliant creation such as Meg.
Background: Meg was born on this day some 18 years ago (wahahaha)
How Celebrated: I remember a picture when I turned two. I wore a white dress with red polka dots while blowing my cake. I think I was four when ma baked me a crema de fruita. All the other years were a blur. Never had another party until I turned 18 when all my guests got wasted. I had a party last year but wouldn't have one this year due to financial constraints. The day would instead be spent in the office working and in a cell meeting ni the evening.
Too bad not everyone could get the humor behind this format. Cheers WTP ;)
Thursday, August 9, 2007
We Made it Through the Rain
The rains have been merciless the past few days. Since last Monday, people were getting anxious about the non-stop pour. Joon said there was a twister that blew away part of their garage. Some officemates spent the night over at the office due to flooded roads.
Ako, I got home safe. Our roof wasn't blown away. No hassle on my part, except that we had to stay a bit longer at CBTL yesterday to let the heavy rain pass.
I heard there was a nationwide prayer for rain. I didn't know, haha. The only TV shows I get to watch are Boy and Kris and Game knb?. Sabi ni Roger, ang systems dude namin, "Bakit kelangan pa umulan? Bat di nalang hayaang mamatay sa uhaw ang mga tao?"
I saw on the news on-line that the non-stop rain still did not quite meet the mark for angat dam. Kapos pa ng mga 20 meters.
Honestly, I got the hang of the rain. Each day, my attire evolves to keep mecomfortable, dry and warm-- what sociology might call adaptation or something. After a couple of rainy days, I finally learned to dress for the rain, so long looong summer days. At least I got to wear sneakers without getting frowns from our security guard. I got to wear some cool clothes and jackets. bad trip lang, I had the courage to wear my pink raincoat today, over my green sweatshirt, over my brown shirt-- I was all ready with my armor-- only to realize that the rain gods were finally appeased. Darn, my raincoat didn't even taste a single drop of rain.
Ako, I got home safe. Our roof wasn't blown away. No hassle on my part, except that we had to stay a bit longer at CBTL yesterday to let the heavy rain pass.
I heard there was a nationwide prayer for rain. I didn't know, haha. The only TV shows I get to watch are Boy and Kris and Game knb?. Sabi ni Roger, ang systems dude namin, "Bakit kelangan pa umulan? Bat di nalang hayaang mamatay sa uhaw ang mga tao?"
I saw on the news on-line that the non-stop rain still did not quite meet the mark for angat dam. Kapos pa ng mga 20 meters.
Honestly, I got the hang of the rain. Each day, my attire evolves to keep mecomfortable, dry and warm-- what sociology might call adaptation or something. After a couple of rainy days, I finally learned to dress for the rain, so long looong summer days. At least I got to wear sneakers without getting frowns from our security guard. I got to wear some cool clothes and jackets. bad trip lang, I had the courage to wear my pink raincoat today, over my green sweatshirt, over my brown shirt-- I was all ready with my armor-- only to realize that the rain gods were finally appeased. Darn, my raincoat didn't even taste a single drop of rain.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Showbiz naman
Showbiz news naman. Have you seen the cutie Direk Paul Soriano, Toni Gonzaga's first ever boyfriend? Ain't he gorgeous? And everybody now thinks she made a good decision passing up on Luis and Sam. It's good to be waiting on the Lord ;)
And the ever famous line from Toni: "He's an answered prayer."
Awwwww...
*larawan ginamit ng walang permiso mula sa isang site na malamang ay ginamit din ang larawan ng walang permiso mula sa friendster ni direk haha
Monday, August 6, 2007
You can still call me grace (a repost from a 2005 blog)
Walking along Yakal's first-floor corridor on my way to my dorm room, I heard a faintly familiar voice behind me. She was calling some name that didn't quite register to my ears, at least not after around fifteen seconds of her foot in her mouth. "Mary grace...?" she cautiously called/asked. Dead air. Then it hits me. I turned around and I saw an old classmate from way back grade school-- foot out of her mouth already, with a wide grin on her face.
Cut me some slack. I needed the time to absorb the idea of the two disjointed eras of my life encountering each other .
I've always been Grace, well, Mary Grace to this particular old friend. Ironically, I've never fully known grace, then. As a matter of fact, I hated my name. I hated how common it was. No, it wasn't really the name I guess, I just hated the fact that I was common; that i looked ordinary; that I did average; that i performed so-so. It was my pre-teen to adolescent struggle-- to be somebody; to stand out; to be... ugh... pathetic, I know... special. That, plus a name that would turn hundreds of heads in a crowded room.
And thus the master plan. Stepping to college-dom, I, my good friend Yo, and my roommate decided to change my name. Nothing legal. They just gave me a semi-common nickname. Yes that's how you came about calling me Meg. I guess, I thought then, that getting a new name changes everything about me.
Really, it didn't. I went about feeling the same way.
Regardless of the failed plan, the name stuck. Convenient 'twas, anyway, to give way to the Graces who wished to hold on to their names.
I remember my Mom used to say, "Grasya ka talaga!" (You're really "grace") whenever I get my aguinaldo, gifts, special favor or any unexpected provision in times of hopelesness. I never quite understood what she meant. Not until now.
I've been experiencing grace... no, let me rephrase that, I've been seeing grace with a new perspective lately.
Ain't it amazing? How things work out, though you're the least deserving? How you don't get fired from life when you don't even deserve the job at the first place? How your life is not even enough to pay-off all what you owe, yet you are still showered with gifts? How this One called Love, gives you hope anew? How you stand on Someone else's righteousness? I would recount all the ways, only, I know I would fail. My proud heart has probably overlooked far too much of this beautiful gift I receive each day.
Boy, do I feel special now.
I am Meg to most now. I learned that "Meg" means "a pearl". True enough, He has made sense of all the dirt and mire, and miraculously produced something beautiful with it.
But you can still call me Grace.
Cut me some slack. I needed the time to absorb the idea of the two disjointed eras of my life encountering each other .
I've always been Grace, well, Mary Grace to this particular old friend. Ironically, I've never fully known grace, then. As a matter of fact, I hated my name. I hated how common it was. No, it wasn't really the name I guess, I just hated the fact that I was common; that i looked ordinary; that I did average; that i performed so-so. It was my pre-teen to adolescent struggle-- to be somebody; to stand out; to be... ugh... pathetic, I know... special. That, plus a name that would turn hundreds of heads in a crowded room.
And thus the master plan. Stepping to college-dom, I, my good friend Yo, and my roommate decided to change my name. Nothing legal. They just gave me a semi-common nickname. Yes that's how you came about calling me Meg. I guess, I thought then, that getting a new name changes everything about me.
Really, it didn't. I went about feeling the same way.
Regardless of the failed plan, the name stuck. Convenient 'twas, anyway, to give way to the Graces who wished to hold on to their names.
I remember my Mom used to say, "Grasya ka talaga!" (You're really "grace") whenever I get my aguinaldo, gifts, special favor or any unexpected provision in times of hopelesness. I never quite understood what she meant. Not until now.
I've been experiencing grace... no, let me rephrase that, I've been seeing grace with a new perspective lately.
Ain't it amazing? How things work out, though you're the least deserving? How you don't get fired from life when you don't even deserve the job at the first place? How your life is not even enough to pay-off all what you owe, yet you are still showered with gifts? How this One called Love, gives you hope anew? How you stand on Someone else's righteousness? I would recount all the ways, only, I know I would fail. My proud heart has probably overlooked far too much of this beautiful gift I receive each day.
Boy, do I feel special now.
I am Meg to most now. I learned that "Meg" means "a pearl". True enough, He has made sense of all the dirt and mire, and miraculously produced something beautiful with it.
But you can still call me Grace.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
last blog for the week
I can't believe Starbucks is winning over CBTL. On my own blog, on my own poll! argh haha
Chuckie says I can't make people think like me. yeah. after the not-so-subtle attempts of brainwashing that i do on this blog, people still can't see the truth that CBTL is the best. hahharhar.
Btw, August na *wink wink*
Following after Chachie's subtle pre-birthday hints here's my list as well haha:
I desperately need:
*an ipod protector for my 1st gen nano
*black patent leather open-toed wedges/red patent leather pumps
*gym membership/4 lbs. dumbells
that's all i can think of now,darn.
Click this instead
It's my last blog for the week. I'm on leave tomorrow to do stuff with my 'rents... I'd prolly wont get to blog this weekend, so there. Ü
Chuckie says I can't make people think like me. yeah. after the not-so-subtle attempts of brainwashing that i do on this blog, people still can't see the truth that CBTL is the best. hahharhar.
Btw, August na *wink wink*
Following after Chachie's subtle pre-birthday hints here's my list as well haha:
I desperately need:
*an ipod protector for my 1st gen nano
*black patent leather open-toed wedges/red patent leather pumps
*gym membership/4 lbs. dumbells
that's all i can think of now,darn.
Click this instead
It's my last blog for the week. I'm on leave tomorrow to do stuff with my 'rents... I'd prolly wont get to blog this weekend, so there. Ü
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
updates
Just a quick update
SSS ID
I finally received my SSS ID! yahooo!
After more than 2 years worth of contributions, I finally came around and arranged for an SSS ID 3 months ago. To think SSS is a few blocks from our place in QC haha. You couldn't imagine the ordeal I had to go through dealing with banks without this tiny card. hurmph. That's what I get for not driving or flying (or mustering my guts to get a TIN ID).
My sis in Pampanga texted: "Andito na pla SS id mo." And I replied: "Yehey! Ganda?" (err, like it matters?) Sis: "Ganda pix. May bangs."
Pantot
After watching a feature by Jessica Soho on Pantots (skunks), we affectionately call Migoy pantot. And he loves his new nickname haha. "Pantot ako!" He says. Funny kid.
Kids are so much fun. Migoy's current fixation is his recently-discovered language rule-- singular and plural. Like "Lolo... maraming lolo-- lolos!" One time he kept on asking mamu to "open [the] bak." mamu kept on asking, "what bak?" Later on, everyone figured that he meant the "box." Kung sabagay, isa lang. Eh di bak lang.
Back with the bangs
yep, after a couple of months of being bangs-free, i decided to get back with the bangs hehe. I got so bored last Sunday and had the strongest urge to get a hold of a pair of scissors... tadaaa!
Moving
Or at least I want to move... Ate Di offered to share her apartment in Makati. Moving near my workplace would save around 3 hours of travel time each day. No prob going home late, too. I need somebody to take my spot here in my qc apartment first, though. Is anybody interested? Message me for details:)
Adsense
I thought this earning through blogging was cool, so I added adsense to my blog... the deal is once you accumulate $100 to your account, a check will be sent by google to you. With the rate of my clicks... cguro in 10 years may check na ko! wahahaha
Leaving on a jetplane
Mom and dad are leaving in roughly a month. Haay... the last time mom left, it was undeniably sad around home. What more now that both of 'em are leaving? haaay...
SSS ID
I finally received my SSS ID! yahooo!
After more than 2 years worth of contributions, I finally came around and arranged for an SSS ID 3 months ago. To think SSS is a few blocks from our place in QC haha. You couldn't imagine the ordeal I had to go through dealing with banks without this tiny card. hurmph. That's what I get for not driving or flying (or mustering my guts to get a TIN ID).
My sis in Pampanga texted: "Andito na pla SS id mo." And I replied: "Yehey! Ganda?" (err, like it matters?) Sis: "Ganda pix. May bangs."
Pantot
After watching a feature by Jessica Soho on Pantots (skunks), we affectionately call Migoy pantot. And he loves his new nickname haha. "Pantot ako!" He says. Funny kid.
Kids are so much fun. Migoy's current fixation is his recently-discovered language rule-- singular and plural. Like "Lolo... maraming lolo-- lolos!" One time he kept on asking mamu to "open [the] bak." mamu kept on asking, "what bak?" Later on, everyone figured that he meant the "box." Kung sabagay, isa lang. Eh di bak lang.
Back with the bangs
yep, after a couple of months of being bangs-free, i decided to get back with the bangs hehe. I got so bored last Sunday and had the strongest urge to get a hold of a pair of scissors... tadaaa!
Moving
Or at least I want to move... Ate Di offered to share her apartment in Makati. Moving near my workplace would save around 3 hours of travel time each day. No prob going home late, too. I need somebody to take my spot here in my qc apartment first, though. Is anybody interested? Message me for details:)
Adsense
I thought this earning through blogging was cool, so I added adsense to my blog... the deal is once you accumulate $100 to your account, a check will be sent by google to you. With the rate of my clicks... cguro in 10 years may check na ko! wahahaha
Leaving on a jetplane
Mom and dad are leaving in roughly a month. Haay... the last time mom left, it was undeniably sad around home. What more now that both of 'em are leaving? haaay...
Friday, July 27, 2007
A Few Words Away
I'm a couple of hundred of words away from meeting my weekly quota.
I got home around midnight last night and before heading for bed, I just had to sympathize with my beloved roommate who has been tormented by a seemingly-wicked boss for the past weeks. While she was ranting about her current confrontation with the boss from hell (not my words, haha), I felt no less than blessed for my manager.
We just met with our manager yesterday afternoon, Tata and I. I can't help but find cute her very polite ways of asking why our productivity took a dive the past couple of weeks. She slightly hints, "Is it because suddenly, you were the only writers left in the team?" I would like to say yes, because we were really tulala after that incident. But then, I am not a quitter and I shall not use any excuse, valid or not, to justify lack of excellence in my work.
That is why I'm aiming for our new quota-- 7-9,000 words a week. I'm only a couple of hundred of words away :)
Bad news
Just a few paragraphs away, I was stomped by what some may call a "writer's block." For me, I simply call it hunger and a short attention span.
My eating habits have been really weird lately... matching my weird body clock. You see, I usually get home late, causing me to wake-up late, and after all the preparations and devotions, it's a bit too late for breakfast and quite early for lunch. So I have brunch. Since I only had my fave tuna cheesemelt from 7-11, i was on empty tank by 4pm. I was craving for sometihng warm to match the weather. Coffee. Coffee and Siomai. Haha fine, it's weird.
Looking out the window and seeing the gloomy weather, I suddenly felt like having Chowking's hot chocolate. Hot chocolate and siomai. huwaw. Have you tried Chowking's hot choco? Wow, it's the best. It's like champorado without the rice haha.
So I googled (by reflex, sorry, can't help it)if chowking serves hot choco in the afternoon. I chanced upon this cool blog that broke the bad news. Chowking doesn't serve hot choco no longer, waaaahh.It started raining anyway so I can't really go any further than mini-stop.
So I ended up with 3-in-1 coffee and pizza kariman. *burp* Refueled and good as new.
Ok, 200 words, here I come.
##################
Plug: Watch Bitoy's funniest videos this sat: Pastor Zha would be there ;)
I got home around midnight last night and before heading for bed, I just had to sympathize with my beloved roommate who has been tormented by a seemingly-wicked boss for the past weeks. While she was ranting about her current confrontation with the boss from hell (not my words, haha), I felt no less than blessed for my manager.
We just met with our manager yesterday afternoon, Tata and I. I can't help but find cute her very polite ways of asking why our productivity took a dive the past couple of weeks. She slightly hints, "Is it because suddenly, you were the only writers left in the team?" I would like to say yes, because we were really tulala after that incident. But then, I am not a quitter and I shall not use any excuse, valid or not, to justify lack of excellence in my work.
That is why I'm aiming for our new quota-- 7-9,000 words a week. I'm only a couple of hundred of words away :)
Bad news
Just a few paragraphs away, I was stomped by what some may call a "writer's block." For me, I simply call it hunger and a short attention span.
My eating habits have been really weird lately... matching my weird body clock. You see, I usually get home late, causing me to wake-up late, and after all the preparations and devotions, it's a bit too late for breakfast and quite early for lunch. So I have brunch. Since I only had my fave tuna cheesemelt from 7-11, i was on empty tank by 4pm. I was craving for sometihng warm to match the weather. Coffee. Coffee and Siomai. Haha fine, it's weird.
Looking out the window and seeing the gloomy weather, I suddenly felt like having Chowking's hot chocolate. Hot chocolate and siomai. huwaw. Have you tried Chowking's hot choco? Wow, it's the best. It's like champorado without the rice haha.
So I googled (by reflex, sorry, can't help it)if chowking serves hot choco in the afternoon. I chanced upon this cool blog that broke the bad news. Chowking doesn't serve hot choco no longer, waaaahh.It started raining anyway so I can't really go any further than mini-stop.
So I ended up with 3-in-1 coffee and pizza kariman. *burp* Refueled and good as new.
Ok, 200 words, here I come.
##################
Plug: Watch Bitoy's funniest videos this sat: Pastor Zha would be there ;)
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Yesternight
Not a usual evening, last night was.
Birthday Cake and Birthday Coffee
It was Chuchu's birthday the other day, so we had a quick celebratory coffee break before I headed back to QC last night. I got off from work early, picked up birthday girl from Robinson's Summit, and we salivated our way to CBTL (the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf), Paseo center. I tell you, I've been having too much second rate coffee (re: Starbucks) lately that I've missed the real taste of coffee so much.
We just had an hour but we had one of the best conversations. It was all about remembering: our spiritual childhood, intense intercession moments of the past, unforgettable tastes of glory; We also spoke of burning desires: for the heart of the Lord, for depth, for intimacy. Momentarily, all the coffee table smalltalk was eaten up by the fire in our hearts.
This is friendship. :)
***BTW, we got one of those free circuit magazines in CBTL and guess whose face we saw?
Manong Dan's!
Shoutout to Dan: Sikat ka na talaga manong! Chachie grabbed a copy for you :)
D Cell Meeting
I missed our cell meetings; It's been a while since we last met as a cell. It was a powerful revelation from Momsy doo. It was about Abraham and Eliezer. Before Isaac ever came to being, Abraham was so ready to resign to the fact that his servant Eliezer would be his heir. But God still had something up His sleeves. All He asked of Abraham is to resist fear and to believe.
It was so fresh. It gave me the faith to go another mile. :)
Kidnapped!
Yes, after D cell meeting, I was kidnapped. By three huge (wahaha ) guys. Old friends Shawn, Chan, and Toots ambushed me and took me to some hole in the wall place in Katipunan. Only to see their surprise... tadaaan! Secret daw. hehe
They're good friends... some from way back kindergarten to highschool. Being there though, hearing their sentiments regarding broken relationships, (attempts to mend one of those actually) all the more settled questions in me.
The question of the 10 and the 2? Hahaha.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Fragments of thoughts
Google
Google has been my bestfriend for the past four months.Although initially they (the bosses and engineers) came up with ideas of acquiring books, contacting consuls, visiting libraries and other research means, we still ended up with the good ol' Google. As in we google everything we need to write about and voila! instant article.
I got so google-attached that even non-work-related stuff I google almost by reflex. A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I ended up talking about butterflies and moths. Dan asked, "are all caterpillars green?" With no answer stashed in the recesses of my brain (why didn't my students ask that question when we had an entire semester talking about butterflies?), I told him that i'd get back to him. And so I googled it. And i did get back to him to tell him that no, not all caterpillars are green.
My sister once texted and asked about her hubby's doctor's diagnosis; i googled it. An officemates once asked about the usage of a phrase; i googled it. I remembered an old friend this afternoon; i googled him (stalker?!). Goodness, it is true. Almost all information is a tinker a way nowadays.
Zafra
Stumbled upon Jessica Zafra's blog. She's still funny as usual but it seems like the magic of Zafra left me. Is it because bitterness, sarcasm and acrid statements do not do it for me any longer? Or is it because she's been over-exposed and commercialized that she became less the hero that i once thought she was? And reading her stuff that didn't sell(these are blog entries, not published Twisted essays), I realized tha she is a geek capable of writing a lot of boring stuff, too. I have nothing against you jessica. just random thoughts.
Bus
I've always loved bus rides.I have had my share of traumatic bus rides,mind you. But nothing really stopped me from choosing busses over, say, the MRT.
I hate the MRT. I hate the fact na mabilis nga ang biyahe mo, naka-splat ka naman sa bintana, or worse, sa kilikili ng katabi mo. Besides, I don't get bored easily despite the traffic in Crossing ibabaw. You can leave me with nothing but my thoughts and a comfortable seat for a while and you won't hear me complain or see me become restless.
Lately may favorite bus ako. Yung purple na bagong bus. Ang luwag ng seats and may LCD screens sa harap at sa gitna. Kaya lang di ko na sha masyado fave ngayon. Kasi naman, aside from the fact na ang weird ng collection nila ng dvd's, lahat ng tao gustong sumakay dun. Siksikan na tuloy.
Bottom line
I have none. Just... fragments of thoughts lingering in my head.
Google has been my bestfriend for the past four months.Although initially they (the bosses and engineers) came up with ideas of acquiring books, contacting consuls, visiting libraries and other research means, we still ended up with the good ol' Google. As in we google everything we need to write about and voila! instant article.
I got so google-attached that even non-work-related stuff I google almost by reflex. A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I ended up talking about butterflies and moths. Dan asked, "are all caterpillars green?" With no answer stashed in the recesses of my brain (why didn't my students ask that question when we had an entire semester talking about butterflies?), I told him that i'd get back to him. And so I googled it. And i did get back to him to tell him that no, not all caterpillars are green.
My sister once texted and asked about her hubby's doctor's diagnosis; i googled it. An officemates once asked about the usage of a phrase; i googled it. I remembered an old friend this afternoon; i googled him (stalker?!). Goodness, it is true. Almost all information is a tinker a way nowadays.
Zafra
Stumbled upon Jessica Zafra's blog. She's still funny as usual but it seems like the magic of Zafra left me. Is it because bitterness, sarcasm and acrid statements do not do it for me any longer? Or is it because she's been over-exposed and commercialized that she became less the hero that i once thought she was? And reading her stuff that didn't sell(these are blog entries, not published Twisted essays), I realized tha she is a geek capable of writing a lot of boring stuff, too. I have nothing against you jessica. just random thoughts.
Bus
I've always loved bus rides.I have had my share of traumatic bus rides,mind you. But nothing really stopped me from choosing busses over, say, the MRT.
I hate the MRT. I hate the fact na mabilis nga ang biyahe mo, naka-splat ka naman sa bintana, or worse, sa kilikili ng katabi mo. Besides, I don't get bored easily despite the traffic in Crossing ibabaw. You can leave me with nothing but my thoughts and a comfortable seat for a while and you won't hear me complain or see me become restless.
Lately may favorite bus ako. Yung purple na bagong bus. Ang luwag ng seats and may LCD screens sa harap at sa gitna. Kaya lang di ko na sha masyado fave ngayon. Kasi naman, aside from the fact na ang weird ng collection nila ng dvd's, lahat ng tao gustong sumakay dun. Siksikan na tuloy.
Bottom line
I have none. Just... fragments of thoughts lingering in my head.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Of Scattered Thoughts and a Sad Bottomline
I was YMing with an ex-officemate, MeanMay, and she asked, "No, really...what are your thoughts about it?" (referring to a rather shocking occurence in this place where we met). I answered, "My thoughts...My thoughts are everywhere."
I really don't know what to think... I also find it quite hard to decipher what I feel, as a matter of fact. Not only about that "rather shocking occurence" but about stuff i'm being dealt with right now. Honestly, from the pit of my stomach and the depths of my heart, I solidly, wholeheartedly believe there is no reason to be down or depressed or low or even anxious about. After all, I just so know that God minds every detail of my life. But I did find myself in tears as I lay my head on my pillow last night.
I guess it's just the physical exhaustion over the weekend, the emotional roller coaster for the past few days, my Lord's personal dealings to my heart that He just finds so precious...and the loneliness perhaps?
I don't even feel worried, as I my heart so trusts His word that He works for the good of those who love Him (rom 8:28). I don't feel angry, for bottomline, there's no one(or no use) to blame. I don't feel hopeless for I find countless of reasons to wake-up each day and move toward my destiny.
I guess I'm just... sad.
Can I be sad, Lord?
I really don't know what to think... I also find it quite hard to decipher what I feel, as a matter of fact. Not only about that "rather shocking occurence" but about stuff i'm being dealt with right now. Honestly, from the pit of my stomach and the depths of my heart, I solidly, wholeheartedly believe there is no reason to be down or depressed or low or even anxious about. After all, I just so know that God minds every detail of my life. But I did find myself in tears as I lay my head on my pillow last night.
I guess it's just the physical exhaustion over the weekend, the emotional roller coaster for the past few days, my Lord's personal dealings to my heart that He just finds so precious...and the loneliness perhaps?
I don't even feel worried, as I my heart so trusts His word that He works for the good of those who love Him (rom 8:28). I don't feel angry, for bottomline, there's no one(or no use) to blame. I don't feel hopeless for I find countless of reasons to wake-up each day and move toward my destiny.
I guess I'm just... sad.
Can I be sad, Lord?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Such an Ally Mcbeal moment
Such an Ally Mcbeal moment, last night was. Walking along the deserted road of Rufino, with one cold hand tucked in my coat pocket and the other hand holding up the umbrella that shielded me from the gentle drops of rain; with Norah Jones singing in the background (from my ipod at least), the thought crossed my mind. It was such an Ally Mcbeal moment. Only there is nothing to be tormented about. There is no reason to be bitter or dejected. My God is too good.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Wishlist
I was browsing through my December blogs and I realized that the Lord has already answered quite a number of my faith-filled Christmas wishlist items hehe. In bold are those that I already received as of July 2, 2007 :)
My Christmas Wishlist
I turned 24 this year, so i have 24 things on my list haha
1. a leather bound bible-- hand bag size but not so trim line
2. a laptop
3. a massage √
4. a fun, fulfilling, challenging and good paying DAY job √
5. a flat/apartment of my own in Makati
6. a new couch for our apartment :p
7. hard bound planner √
8. CBTL gc's
9. a pair of boots√
10. spa treat√
11. an ipod√
12. 1 year supply of coke (light hihi as if)
13. my own copy of captivating
14. CW classes
15. digi cam√
16. a trip to sagada√ /palawan/bora
17. a puppy
18. backpacking trip to europe
19. funky accessories√
20. shu uemura make-up hehe
21. medium to large organizer boxes√ /tool box-- i cant get enough of them haha
22. abrelata/ice tray/kitchen stuff
23. boxer shorts √ and cotton tank tops
24. a car
And here is my updated wishlist
My Christmas Wishlist
I turned 24 this year, so i have 24 things on my list haha
1. a leather bound bible-- hand bag size but not so trim line
2. a laptop
3. a massage √
4. a fun, fulfilling, challenging and good paying DAY job √
5. a flat/apartment of my own in Makati
6. a new couch for our apartment :p
7. hard bound planner √
8. CBTL gc's
9. a pair of boots√
10. spa treat√
11. an ipod√
12. 1 year supply of coke (light hihi as if)
13. my own copy of captivating
14. CW classes
15. digi cam√
16. a trip to sagada√ /palawan/bora
17. a puppy
18. backpacking trip to europe
19. funky accessories√
20. shu uemura make-up hehe
21. medium to large organizer boxes√ /tool box-- i cant get enough of them haha
22. abrelata/ice tray/kitchen stuff
23. boxer shorts √ and cotton tank tops
24. a car
And here is my updated wishlist
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Right job, wrong job
Meg, based on your unique skill set, the #1 right job for you is an:
Architect
Avg. salary: $51,000 - $68,000
Your runner-up jobs are: Avg. salary:
Graphic artist $62,000 - $81,000
Film editor $23,000 - $36,000
Creative Writer $65,000 - $83,000
Interior designer $51,000 - $75,000
Commercial artist $62,000 - $81,000
Musician $36,000 - $53,000
Why These Jobs Work For You
You are the person for a job that involves thinking outside the box. You are innovative and intellectual. You don't like paying attention to administrative details, though you pay attention to details when necessary for aesthetic or practical reasons. Organizing and filing do not appeal to you. Your skills are in the art of expression, and you have the ability to convey the message to the intended audience effectively.
Research has shown that people whose personalities are well-suited to their job environments are happier and more successful. Remember, your Right Jobs were selected because they are good matches for your career personality — they would allow you to exercise the qualities mentioned above. They are not based on the skills you already have, or would need to perform those jobs. Those are things you can learn along the way.
Although the work environment of an architect is the best fit for your career personality, that is not to say you won't be happy in another job. In fact, there are plenty of careers that could use your personality's strengths. Architect was the highest statistical match for your personality characteristics. Look to the right for some other jobs that scored high and would be a great fit for you.
In addition to discovering what career best fits you, Tickle has provided some information about how to best fit your career goals with your lifestyle needs. After all, your career can take on many forms, and it is important to know what best works for you.
Why These Jobs Fit Within Your Lifestyle
You enjoy being comfortable in life. You don't need to live in extravagance, but you do like to indulge in a few luxuries. Whether you own a nice home, have an expensive hobby, or take lavish vacations, you are proud that your hard work can support the lifestyle you want.
Having a stable, and relatively prestigious, job is a priority for you. Your career identity is important to you, and you want to feel proud when telling others what you do for a living.
Be careful that you spend within your means. In your later years, retiring comfortably and paying off debts should be your priorities. Because having a rewarding career is important to you, be on the lookout for career advancement opportunities.
You may have already landed your dream job. Congratulations! But most people are still waiting to find the best job for their career personality.
Remember that wherever you are in your career — even if you're already in the job you want to keep for the rest of your life, you can't always control when or how the nature of your job might change, or how the goals of your company might evolve. But you can control the kinds of jobs you look for. That's why it's just as important to know your Wrong Job, as it is to know your Right Job.
Primary Classification -Creative-
As a Creative type, your ability to look at the world with a fresh perspective keeps life interesting for you and those around you. Instead of following the trends, you want to set them yourself. Establishing a routine is not your goal; you would rather go with the flow and see where your mood takes you that day. You love seeking new experiences and sensations. Your sensitive nature is often turned inward, but your passionate nature also means that you are prone to be impulsive at times.
Secondary Classification -Analytical-
As an Analytical type, your inquisitive nature helps you enjoy the complexities of life. You understand that sometimes there are no clear right and wrong answers, and that's okay with you because you tolerate gray areas better than most. In fact, pondering potential outcomes can sometimes be more interesting than coming up with the definitive solution for you. You march to your own drum and enjoy being in charge more than working and compromising with others. Nothing escapes your keen observational skills, and thinking is your idea of fun.
Knowing what we know about you as a Creative type, here are some things to watch for.
Has the workplace become too dull and rigid for you? Don't know what the day of the week is anymore? You need to find an outlet for that imagination of yours. If the dress code permits, start with the wardrobe. Just because everyone else dresses in black and gray should not hold the same for you. Make a fashion statement to brighten the room. You like being the center of attention anyway. Another suggestion is to take that passionate nature of yours and start a book club at work. Get people to read your favorite authors, and you might be surprised by the intellectual depth of your colleagues. And finally, use your vision to improve those drab office parties. You know how to throw swank parties; volunteer your skills to incorporate some style at the workplace.
Architect
Avg. salary: $51,000 - $68,000
Your runner-up jobs are: Avg. salary:
Graphic artist $62,000 - $81,000
Film editor $23,000 - $36,000
Creative Writer $65,000 - $83,000
Interior designer $51,000 - $75,000
Commercial artist $62,000 - $81,000
Musician $36,000 - $53,000
Why These Jobs Work For You
You are the person for a job that involves thinking outside the box. You are innovative and intellectual. You don't like paying attention to administrative details, though you pay attention to details when necessary for aesthetic or practical reasons. Organizing and filing do not appeal to you. Your skills are in the art of expression, and you have the ability to convey the message to the intended audience effectively.
Research has shown that people whose personalities are well-suited to their job environments are happier and more successful. Remember, your Right Jobs were selected because they are good matches for your career personality — they would allow you to exercise the qualities mentioned above. They are not based on the skills you already have, or would need to perform those jobs. Those are things you can learn along the way.
Although the work environment of an architect is the best fit for your career personality, that is not to say you won't be happy in another job. In fact, there are plenty of careers that could use your personality's strengths. Architect was the highest statistical match for your personality characteristics. Look to the right for some other jobs that scored high and would be a great fit for you.
In addition to discovering what career best fits you, Tickle has provided some information about how to best fit your career goals with your lifestyle needs. After all, your career can take on many forms, and it is important to know what best works for you.
Why These Jobs Fit Within Your Lifestyle
You enjoy being comfortable in life. You don't need to live in extravagance, but you do like to indulge in a few luxuries. Whether you own a nice home, have an expensive hobby, or take lavish vacations, you are proud that your hard work can support the lifestyle you want.
Having a stable, and relatively prestigious, job is a priority for you. Your career identity is important to you, and you want to feel proud when telling others what you do for a living.
Be careful that you spend within your means. In your later years, retiring comfortably and paying off debts should be your priorities. Because having a rewarding career is important to you, be on the lookout for career advancement opportunities.
You may have already landed your dream job. Congratulations! But most people are still waiting to find the best job for their career personality.
Remember that wherever you are in your career — even if you're already in the job you want to keep for the rest of your life, you can't always control when or how the nature of your job might change, or how the goals of your company might evolve. But you can control the kinds of jobs you look for. That's why it's just as important to know your Wrong Job, as it is to know your Right Job.
Primary Classification -Creative-
As a Creative type, your ability to look at the world with a fresh perspective keeps life interesting for you and those around you. Instead of following the trends, you want to set them yourself. Establishing a routine is not your goal; you would rather go with the flow and see where your mood takes you that day. You love seeking new experiences and sensations. Your sensitive nature is often turned inward, but your passionate nature also means that you are prone to be impulsive at times.
Secondary Classification -Analytical-
As an Analytical type, your inquisitive nature helps you enjoy the complexities of life. You understand that sometimes there are no clear right and wrong answers, and that's okay with you because you tolerate gray areas better than most. In fact, pondering potential outcomes can sometimes be more interesting than coming up with the definitive solution for you. You march to your own drum and enjoy being in charge more than working and compromising with others. Nothing escapes your keen observational skills, and thinking is your idea of fun.
Knowing what we know about you as a Creative type, here are some things to watch for.
Has the workplace become too dull and rigid for you? Don't know what the day of the week is anymore? You need to find an outlet for that imagination of yours. If the dress code permits, start with the wardrobe. Just because everyone else dresses in black and gray should not hold the same for you. Make a fashion statement to brighten the room. You like being the center of attention anyway. Another suggestion is to take that passionate nature of yours and start a book club at work. Get people to read your favorite authors, and you might be surprised by the intellectual depth of your colleagues. And finally, use your vision to improve those drab office parties. You know how to throw swank parties; volunteer your skills to incorporate some style at the workplace.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Skip to December 7, 2005-- For Jackie :)
This was posted on my blog-city blog last December 2005. It just reminded me of my dinner conversation with Jackie the other night...
####################################
Giving in to the most romantic invitation of coming away, I was surprised at the first stop over-- inside of me. "Why would i want to journey here Lord?" I seek adventure, I seek depth and height all at the same time. But inside of me?
I've been catching my breath for the past couple of weeks. I have often been overcome with the feeling of bursting-- a need to stop to cater to my inability to contain-- uncontainable passion at times, uncontanable sorrow as well.
I have never felt as awakened in my life as I am now. Not even as the day I met the Lord. No, I don't remember ever having the ability to dream and to soar as I do now. I feel so alive; so in-love with life.
Every morning, my 1-year-old nephew would come into my room and wake me up with his excitement and vigor. At times I would resist, but who wouldn't give in to the spirit of a child ready to take in a brand new day? I would often wonder why I have never seen him sluggishly linger on his bed or cover his face with a blanket when each daylight kisses him good morning. But then again, a little bit more than 365 days here on earth has not yet given him enough trouble for him to refuse it.
The vigor of the newness of life.
For quite a while there I chose to be numb. So as not to feel the pain perhaps? Unfortuntely shunning Life as well. But like a frozen heart beginning to thaw, I begin to feel. I begin to feel alive, ready to chase after my dreams.
I also begin to feel the pain.
One night, the Lord just spoke to me with surprising words-- "Admit the pain." All my speeding dreams came to a halt. Do I have to? isn't forgetting a part of the forgiving? COmplying to the insistent Voice, I gave way to the flood of emotions and like a cheated child, I wept.
"Now forgive."
You can't forgive someone for an offense you yourself deny. I thought I was too righteous to take offense: Too mature to be affected. But I still live in fallen world and in a fallen self.
And you can't truly live until you truly die.
I am really doing a lot of dying inside. Don't you feel like dying when somebody pokes at your wounds back when you were a child? Forgetting all the good meaning of the process, you just cry as if saying, "Why are you killing me with this pain?"
But you can never run again, until you heal. You can never feel the wind on your face or chase after butterflies and rainbows if you choose to hide the wounds.
But I want to live.
And so I welcome it all... just to feel life once again.
####################################
Giving in to the most romantic invitation of coming away, I was surprised at the first stop over-- inside of me. "Why would i want to journey here Lord?" I seek adventure, I seek depth and height all at the same time. But inside of me?
I've been catching my breath for the past couple of weeks. I have often been overcome with the feeling of bursting-- a need to stop to cater to my inability to contain-- uncontainable passion at times, uncontanable sorrow as well.
I have never felt as awakened in my life as I am now. Not even as the day I met the Lord. No, I don't remember ever having the ability to dream and to soar as I do now. I feel so alive; so in-love with life.
Every morning, my 1-year-old nephew would come into my room and wake me up with his excitement and vigor. At times I would resist, but who wouldn't give in to the spirit of a child ready to take in a brand new day? I would often wonder why I have never seen him sluggishly linger on his bed or cover his face with a blanket when each daylight kisses him good morning. But then again, a little bit more than 365 days here on earth has not yet given him enough trouble for him to refuse it.
The vigor of the newness of life.
For quite a while there I chose to be numb. So as not to feel the pain perhaps? Unfortuntely shunning Life as well. But like a frozen heart beginning to thaw, I begin to feel. I begin to feel alive, ready to chase after my dreams.
I also begin to feel the pain.
One night, the Lord just spoke to me with surprising words-- "Admit the pain." All my speeding dreams came to a halt. Do I have to? isn't forgetting a part of the forgiving? COmplying to the insistent Voice, I gave way to the flood of emotions and like a cheated child, I wept.
"Now forgive."
You can't forgive someone for an offense you yourself deny. I thought I was too righteous to take offense: Too mature to be affected. But I still live in fallen world and in a fallen self.
And you can't truly live until you truly die.
I am really doing a lot of dying inside. Don't you feel like dying when somebody pokes at your wounds back when you were a child? Forgetting all the good meaning of the process, you just cry as if saying, "Why are you killing me with this pain?"
But you can never run again, until you heal. You can never feel the wind on your face or chase after butterflies and rainbows if you choose to hide the wounds.
But I want to live.
And so I welcome it all... just to feel life once again.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Posted Feb 24, 2005. The Phantom of the Opera is here... inside my head
To whom does true love belong?
Is it to the man who poured himself out to a woman whom he loved from the darkness of his hiding?
Or is it to the boy, now all grown in stature, who blossomed with her shoulder to shoulder, and who has seen her at her worst?
Is it to the Voice who captivates her?
Or to the Warmth that brings all that is real?
Could it be perhaps to the woman who, amidst all the fears, had dared to love?
To her who tried to look beyond the deformity of the face... even that of the soul?
Is it maybe to the man who would give all.. and kill all.. for her glory?
Or to the other who beseeched to be her freedom?
Is it to him who let go?
or to the brave one who fought til the end?
Is it to him who gave her happiness?
or to the other who, in darkness, loved til her last breath?
------------
remnants of the movie inside my head.
btw, why do you think should you keep your hand to the level of your eyes?
huling hirit na po on love. pagpapaalam sa buwan ng pebrero.
Is it to the man who poured himself out to a woman whom he loved from the darkness of his hiding?
Or is it to the boy, now all grown in stature, who blossomed with her shoulder to shoulder, and who has seen her at her worst?
Is it to the Voice who captivates her?
Or to the Warmth that brings all that is real?
Could it be perhaps to the woman who, amidst all the fears, had dared to love?
To her who tried to look beyond the deformity of the face... even that of the soul?
Is it maybe to the man who would give all.. and kill all.. for her glory?
Or to the other who beseeched to be her freedom?
Is it to him who let go?
or to the brave one who fought til the end?
Is it to him who gave her happiness?
or to the other who, in darkness, loved til her last breath?
------------
remnants of the movie inside my head.
btw, why do you think should you keep your hand to the level of your eyes?
huling hirit na po on love. pagpapaalam sa buwan ng pebrero.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Posted: Feb 20,2005
Dear you,
Hear I am, indulging again in the foolishness of writing to someone I am yet to know. Luanne is actually baffled with my audacity to write such intimate musings on-line. I guess deep down I'm hoping I'd get through you somehow- like a hi-tech way of going up the mountains and screaming from the top of my lungs at the world, hoping you'd hear.
I am supposed to be somewhere now. At the UPfair actually. All my college life, I've lived for the fair. To spend at least a night there, smoking my lungs out, damaging my eardrums and getting drunk, only to wake up the next morning (or afternoon), really sore. Maybe its because I dropped all those vices that I think I have nothing to do there anyway. Or maybe I just outgrew it. I am glad I've met old friends there, but I decided to make a detour to a netshop before I go back in to all the noise; To finally write down all these things going on inside my mind.
It gets pathetic I know. I just badly need an affirmation that you're there, somewhere, right now.
I had a talk with a friend the other day and she says you don't exist-- that is, there is no such thing as a person destined for you. God respects our choices, she says and would gladly bless our decision. It took me aback. MAybe it was all those sweetdreams and romance novels I've devoured since I was eight that I became such a sucker for destiny. Along the way, I tried to brush it away as being merely idealistic, but believing in a good, sovereign God makes it so hard to deny.
-- -- -- -- --
The other night, I went out with someone from the past.
All night I've been thinking, "why not indulge in the insanity of the night?"
Why not lean closer to catch his scent? Why not blush with all those sweet nothings he allowed to slip out before he bit his lip? Why not surrender my hand to his? Why not drown in his eyes for a while? And why not give him a goodbye kiss and blame it all on the moon?
But then I remember you.
That night, all I had to offer was a friendly handshake. As his hand slowly slid from mine while he was walking away, and as I watched his back grow smaller to the dark horizon, I knew I made a choice.
You better be really worth the wait.
Hear I am, indulging again in the foolishness of writing to someone I am yet to know. Luanne is actually baffled with my audacity to write such intimate musings on-line. I guess deep down I'm hoping I'd get through you somehow- like a hi-tech way of going up the mountains and screaming from the top of my lungs at the world, hoping you'd hear.
I am supposed to be somewhere now. At the UPfair actually. All my college life, I've lived for the fair. To spend at least a night there, smoking my lungs out, damaging my eardrums and getting drunk, only to wake up the next morning (or afternoon), really sore. Maybe its because I dropped all those vices that I think I have nothing to do there anyway. Or maybe I just outgrew it. I am glad I've met old friends there, but I decided to make a detour to a netshop before I go back in to all the noise; To finally write down all these things going on inside my mind.
It gets pathetic I know. I just badly need an affirmation that you're there, somewhere, right now.
I had a talk with a friend the other day and she says you don't exist-- that is, there is no such thing as a person destined for you. God respects our choices, she says and would gladly bless our decision. It took me aback. MAybe it was all those sweetdreams and romance novels I've devoured since I was eight that I became such a sucker for destiny. Along the way, I tried to brush it away as being merely idealistic, but believing in a good, sovereign God makes it so hard to deny.
-- -- -- -- --
The other night, I went out with someone from the past.
All night I've been thinking, "why not indulge in the insanity of the night?"
Why not lean closer to catch his scent? Why not blush with all those sweet nothings he allowed to slip out before he bit his lip? Why not surrender my hand to his? Why not drown in his eyes for a while? And why not give him a goodbye kiss and blame it all on the moon?
But then I remember you.
That night, all I had to offer was a friendly handshake. As his hand slowly slid from mine while he was walking away, and as I watched his back grow smaller to the dark horizon, I knew I made a choice.
You better be really worth the wait.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Magnanimous blog
Muli nanaman kaming nagkita. Napakatagal nang panahon ang nakalipas mula noong huli ko siyang nasilayan. Akala ko ay namalikmata lang ako pero siya nga. siya nga si magnanimous crush.
Let me start with the beginning of my Saturday: my devotions. My devotions was about Jesus walking on water. I was wondering why Jesus had to walk past his discpiles, on water take note, when He could have simply calmed the storm for them. And then I realized-- Jesus was showing them what can be done. Jesus was changing the ways of His disciples by showing them that instead of fretting, they can actually walk on water. Instead of worrying about one's circumstances, one can actually rise above the torrents. Unfortunately, only Peter dared to follow suit.
That day I got to reflect on my ways. The things I settle on because I dare not follow suit after my Lord. That morning, I prayed for eyes that would see what is possible in Christ and the heart that would dare follow after my Lord.
Kinagabihan ay nakita ko sa TV si magnanimous crush. Ni-interview siya ni Donita Rose sa channel 33.
Next to John lloyd, he is my most artistahin crush (considering the fact that John lloyd is an artista). I remember my colleagues and I were enamored almost instantly by his good looks. He was tall, dark, lean and ruggedly handsome. There was a whiff of mystery in the intensity of his eyes and such charm in his quick wit and intelligent remarks.
I remember I even wrote a blog entry about him.
There was another side to his good looks and charm, I discovered. While watching him converse with Donita, I was in utter disbelief as I listened to him talk of his faith and his total turn-around for the Lord; I was awestruck by the depth of his insight regarding vision and love. One of his analogies I could not forget is about relationships: two people being intimate, whether physical or emotional, is like two different colored pieces of paper being glued to each other-- like red and white, he cites. When the relationship ends, the pieces of paper break off from each other leaving marks of the red paper on the white and vice versa. Sadly, the breaking off may even leave large holes. Profound, eh?
I am not saying that Jesus is showing him to me now because he is the one; God forbid that his wonderful marriage with his equally good looking wife would end. But in the midst of all the voices telling me to settle, God shows me that He still make men of this kind--- men of vision, of faith, of surrender... and of good looks! wahaha
Let me start with the beginning of my Saturday: my devotions. My devotions was about Jesus walking on water. I was wondering why Jesus had to walk past his discpiles, on water take note, when He could have simply calmed the storm for them. And then I realized-- Jesus was showing them what can be done. Jesus was changing the ways of His disciples by showing them that instead of fretting, they can actually walk on water. Instead of worrying about one's circumstances, one can actually rise above the torrents. Unfortunately, only Peter dared to follow suit.
That day I got to reflect on my ways. The things I settle on because I dare not follow suit after my Lord. That morning, I prayed for eyes that would see what is possible in Christ and the heart that would dare follow after my Lord.
Kinagabihan ay nakita ko sa TV si magnanimous crush. Ni-interview siya ni Donita Rose sa channel 33.
Next to John lloyd, he is my most artistahin crush (considering the fact that John lloyd is an artista). I remember my colleagues and I were enamored almost instantly by his good looks. He was tall, dark, lean and ruggedly handsome. There was a whiff of mystery in the intensity of his eyes and such charm in his quick wit and intelligent remarks.
I remember I even wrote a blog entry about him.
There was another side to his good looks and charm, I discovered. While watching him converse with Donita, I was in utter disbelief as I listened to him talk of his faith and his total turn-around for the Lord; I was awestruck by the depth of his insight regarding vision and love. One of his analogies I could not forget is about relationships: two people being intimate, whether physical or emotional, is like two different colored pieces of paper being glued to each other-- like red and white, he cites. When the relationship ends, the pieces of paper break off from each other leaving marks of the red paper on the white and vice versa. Sadly, the breaking off may even leave large holes. Profound, eh?
I am not saying that Jesus is showing him to me now because he is the one; God forbid that his wonderful marriage with his equally good looking wife would end. But in the midst of all the voices telling me to settle, God shows me that He still make men of this kind--- men of vision, of faith, of surrender... and of good looks! wahaha
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Posted: Feb 12, 2005: Post-Victory Highs (and lows)
I've always thought of myself as non-adventurous. I've always found refuge in things... reliable. Why choose something new over something tested, I always say.
I think my housmates are about to throw up already with the perpetual sight of tofu in our ref. It's my current default food since the on-set of my domesticated phase (I suddenly felt like cooking my own food and washing my own clothes).
One of my student's mom was surprised to see me yesterday wearing girly stilettos. She must've thought I wear my favorite sneakers to sleep. Well, I'm really not boring, if that's how it sounds. If it doesn't involve too much risk like a slightly modified hairdo or a new ingredient to my tofu- like oyster sauce for Monday, Egg and Flour for Tuesday and (I know Luanne is dying to hear this) Toge (beansprouts) on Wednesday.
Okay, okay. I know its more than just being 'non-adventurous'. And don't worry God is shaking me out of my cowardice. Just yesterday, the Lord asked me to go out from my ususal day to face one of my Giants. One that I've been running from for months now. (Thanks Mommy Jill and Kim for your prayers!). True enough, God gave me victory. I just can't remember the last time I had the same high. The high of defeating something that would naturally crush me, only God was on my side.
The other day, during a party in a co-teacher's place, I heard a couple who excitedly told stories about their recent conquests (crusades). Unexpectedly, tears stung my eyes so bad I thought I'd embarrass myself. Tears of envy maybe... and of longing for my own adventures I guess. At times like these I realize I'm made for something else more than a predictable life. When all the fears are momentarily brushed away, deep within my heart I see the love for adventure there. I am made for this. Of all the titles I've acquired as a Christian, (i.e. 'daughter', 'servant', 'light' and all that), I dispised 'warrior' the most. It just didn't fit my preference for unruffled, undisturbed pseudo-peaceful life. But that didn't change the fact though. I am one.
One thing I recenlty learned-- though I choose to close my eyes to the war around me, it doesn't go away. As a matter of fact, a soldier with eyes closed is a soldier just the same. Only more likely to get hit-- Not as a civillian casualty but as a foolish target who doesn't use her armor and ammunition. That leaves me with no choice I guess.
Maiba ako. It's the 12th already. The clock ticks til the 17th. Would the elephants realize the chains are loose? (haha, those who have ears let them hear). This elephant is having a hard time playing the field, hehe.
#######
SOme things could really change in the span of two years huh? ;)
I think my housmates are about to throw up already with the perpetual sight of tofu in our ref. It's my current default food since the on-set of my domesticated phase (I suddenly felt like cooking my own food and washing my own clothes).
One of my student's mom was surprised to see me yesterday wearing girly stilettos. She must've thought I wear my favorite sneakers to sleep. Well, I'm really not boring, if that's how it sounds. If it doesn't involve too much risk like a slightly modified hairdo or a new ingredient to my tofu- like oyster sauce for Monday, Egg and Flour for Tuesday and (I know Luanne is dying to hear this) Toge (beansprouts) on Wednesday.
Okay, okay. I know its more than just being 'non-adventurous'. And don't worry God is shaking me out of my cowardice. Just yesterday, the Lord asked me to go out from my ususal day to face one of my Giants. One that I've been running from for months now. (Thanks Mommy Jill and Kim for your prayers!). True enough, God gave me victory. I just can't remember the last time I had the same high. The high of defeating something that would naturally crush me, only God was on my side.
The other day, during a party in a co-teacher's place, I heard a couple who excitedly told stories about their recent conquests (crusades). Unexpectedly, tears stung my eyes so bad I thought I'd embarrass myself. Tears of envy maybe... and of longing for my own adventures I guess. At times like these I realize I'm made for something else more than a predictable life. When all the fears are momentarily brushed away, deep within my heart I see the love for adventure there. I am made for this. Of all the titles I've acquired as a Christian, (i.e. 'daughter', 'servant', 'light' and all that), I dispised 'warrior' the most. It just didn't fit my preference for unruffled, undisturbed pseudo-peaceful life. But that didn't change the fact though. I am one.
One thing I recenlty learned-- though I choose to close my eyes to the war around me, it doesn't go away. As a matter of fact, a soldier with eyes closed is a soldier just the same. Only more likely to get hit-- Not as a civillian casualty but as a foolish target who doesn't use her armor and ammunition. That leaves me with no choice I guess.
Maiba ako. It's the 12th already. The clock ticks til the 17th. Would the elephants realize the chains are loose? (haha, those who have ears let them hear). This elephant is having a hard time playing the field, hehe.
#######
SOme things could really change in the span of two years huh? ;)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Way Back... Into Love?
Posted: January 30,2005
What do you do when an old lover lingers by your doorstep?
I inhale the scent of yesterday and realize it wasn't just a dream. There's a vague taste of nostalgia, but twas too disjointed from reality really to unearth memories I refuse to acknowledge.
What do you do when an old lover says hello?
I wonder if time stopped from where he stood or I just thought I've ran far enough already. Do old lovers really trail behind, though you think it was all abandoned?
What do you do when an old lover smiles?
Almost a stranger, but too familiar to be one. And I, much different from the one who was in his arms(but not entirely changed I guess, to be unrecognized).
What do you do when an old lover reaches out his hand?
Looking forward to the vast unknown that lies before me, then looking back to the comfort of familiar arms... I hesitate for a while.
But that is not where I belong.
######
pangunahan ko na kayo. Hindi ito dahil kay ano. I just found it a fitting metaphor.
What do you do when an old lover lingers by your doorstep?
I inhale the scent of yesterday and realize it wasn't just a dream. There's a vague taste of nostalgia, but twas too disjointed from reality really to unearth memories I refuse to acknowledge.
What do you do when an old lover says hello?
I wonder if time stopped from where he stood or I just thought I've ran far enough already. Do old lovers really trail behind, though you think it was all abandoned?
What do you do when an old lover smiles?
Almost a stranger, but too familiar to be one. And I, much different from the one who was in his arms(but not entirely changed I guess, to be unrecognized).
What do you do when an old lover reaches out his hand?
Looking forward to the vast unknown that lies before me, then looking back to the comfort of familiar arms... I hesitate for a while.
But that is not where I belong.
######
pangunahan ko na kayo. Hindi ito dahil kay ano. I just found it a fitting metaphor.
flashback: Of Lovers in Paris and Finding the Right One
Posted January 23 2005
My roommate is currently obsessed with the craze of the town. It's not that I'm not into 'lovers' myself, I did force my eyes open when I heard Kitchie Nadal singing through my roomie's computer sound blasters that fateful Saturday (early) morning. It was Lovers in Paris volume 16, 17 and the final episode 20. Forced to analyze the whole thing every few minutes, in sync with my roommate's sporadic thoughts of the Koreanovela ending, I realized one thing. Vivian and Carlo were wondering--if things wouldn't have happened as they did, would they still have met? The ending answered their question. The scene showed Vivian, on her first day in Paris having dinner by herself, with Carlo just right behind her. Unfortunately, they were totally oblivous of each other.
If watching Lovers in Paris is also one of your guilty pleasures, you would realize that they've actually became conscious of each other's exsitence way after Vivian arrived in Paris. Their "story," though, actually started way earlier than they thought it did, during those fleeting brushes with destiny that only heavenly beings witnessed. Who knows, they might've even shopped in the same grocery store in Korea or something.
Well it kindov reminded me of my own "story." A couple of years ago, I posted my testimony in peyups.com about my whirlwind romance with, who else, my wonderful JC. Now I realized, it wasn't as "sudden" as my cold turkey quitting of my old life. The first time I actually heard of Jesus and prayed THE prayer was when I was eight years old. Even before that, I couldn't even fathom how many "brushes" with destiny I have had already. That was how long the actual pursuit was,before I was shaken to my senses and realized Love was right there under my nose.
Now I wonder...
A few hours ago, while talking to my co-teacher, Nate (who was a college batchmate), another co-teacher made a joke about me getting married (take note: it was a joke .) Suddenly, Nate brightened up, being so glad for me and all, and said "oh yeah? me too!" (Refering to her recent engagement with the love of her life).Kinda embarassing to explain that it was jsut a joke, really.
I can't believe that the idea of me in a wedding dress is nothing but a source of comic relief for me when its actual reality for someone of the same age. Yeah, yeah, I know God has his IEPs (Individualized Education Plan)for all of us. I was just wondering if, once again, I am making the pursuit so long, delaying the happy ever after, when 'the one' might just be under my nose... with me being so stubborn to mature (and be ready for God's will) AGAIN.
Far be it I hope. Far be it.
My roommate is currently obsessed with the craze of the town. It's not that I'm not into 'lovers' myself, I did force my eyes open when I heard Kitchie Nadal singing through my roomie's computer sound blasters that fateful Saturday (early) morning. It was Lovers in Paris volume 16, 17 and the final episode 20. Forced to analyze the whole thing every few minutes, in sync with my roommate's sporadic thoughts of the Koreanovela ending, I realized one thing. Vivian and Carlo were wondering--if things wouldn't have happened as they did, would they still have met? The ending answered their question. The scene showed Vivian, on her first day in Paris having dinner by herself, with Carlo just right behind her. Unfortunately, they were totally oblivous of each other.
If watching Lovers in Paris is also one of your guilty pleasures, you would realize that they've actually became conscious of each other's exsitence way after Vivian arrived in Paris. Their "story," though, actually started way earlier than they thought it did, during those fleeting brushes with destiny that only heavenly beings witnessed. Who knows, they might've even shopped in the same grocery store in Korea or something.
Well it kindov reminded me of my own "story." A couple of years ago, I posted my testimony in peyups.com about my whirlwind romance with, who else, my wonderful JC. Now I realized, it wasn't as "sudden" as my cold turkey quitting of my old life. The first time I actually heard of Jesus and prayed THE prayer was when I was eight years old. Even before that, I couldn't even fathom how many "brushes" with destiny I have had already. That was how long the actual pursuit was,before I was shaken to my senses and realized Love was right there under my nose.
Now I wonder...
A few hours ago, while talking to my co-teacher, Nate (who was a college batchmate), another co-teacher made a joke about me getting married (take note: it was a joke .) Suddenly, Nate brightened up, being so glad for me and all, and said "oh yeah? me too!" (Refering to her recent engagement with the love of her life).Kinda embarassing to explain that it was jsut a joke, really.
I can't believe that the idea of me in a wedding dress is nothing but a source of comic relief for me when its actual reality for someone of the same age. Yeah, yeah, I know God has his IEPs (Individualized Education Plan)for all of us. I was just wondering if, once again, I am making the pursuit so long, delaying the happy ever after, when 'the one' might just be under my nose... with me being so stubborn to mature (and be ready for God's will) AGAIN.
Far be it I hope. Far be it.
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